Horrible Sanity

Will E-Books Eliminate Physical Books?

2010-08-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

Interesting articles.

If you're a self-publishing author, please share your thoughts on the ever changing world of publishing.

Will E-Books Eliminate Physical Books? - Newsweek

http://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/30/who-needs-a-publisher.html

Infant Bonding and the Importance of Touch

2010-05-26T14:40:00.000-04:00

I wholeheartedly believe that if I'm going to recommend any reading on this blog, that it is not only something that I've read through myself, but also a book that I believe in.

While doing research for an article that I was writing for API (Attachment Parenting International), I came across and used Sharon Heller's book "The Vital Touch". I checked it out of my library at first to skim it, but soon found that it was a vital piece that needed to be added to my home library.

For any to-be parents, new parents and experienced parents, this book is a must. I'm so in love with it that I had to contact Sharon personally to let her know how good of a book I thought it was. I even sent her my article for API so that she could read what I wrote and referenced from her work.

Don't be afraid to recommend this book to prospective and new parent friends that you may have as well. It would also make a wonderful shower gift for the new/expectant mother.

Higher Education and The New Yorker

2010-05-24T14:10:00.003-04:00

Anyone that is currently working in higher education, has obtained graduate degrees, or reads The New Yorker will appreciate this. At times, I think the comments are funnier than the piece.

Enjoy and share your comments below.

From The Chronicle of Higher Education: Is there a Doctorate in the House?

Help with Writing Query Letters

2010-05-23T16:41:00.000-04:00

For some writers, composing an eye-catching query letter comes with little problems. For others it's one of the most nerve-wracking parts of being a freelance writer.

Below are some sites that I've compiled to make the process of birthing the perfect query letter a little more manageable.

From Writing World: How to write a successful query letter

From About.com; Freelance Writing: Sample Query Letter

From Agent Query: How to write a query letter

From HiWrite: Query Letters

Your Turn: Please share any other sites that you have found useful when it comes to the how-to's of composing a query letter.

Recipe Friday

2010-05-21T13:50:00.000-04:00

Here are a few links to what I'm thinking of making this weekend. Enjoy.

Granola Chicken Salad Sandwhiches

Oatmeal Crusted Chicken Tenders

Classic Macaroni Salad

Your Turn: Have any easy favorites that you make often? Share them below.

Blog Roller

2010-05-20T09:04:00.000-04:00

What I'm reading today around the blogosphere today:

Write it Sideways: 23 Websites that Make Your Writing Stronger

The Book Designer: Fair Use, The Rights of Personality, and Unintended Consequences

Real Simple: 16 New Etiquette Rules for the Tech Age

Psych Central: Are Depressed Poets Still Creative?

iPad? iPod? No Thanks.

2010-05-19T13:24:00.000-04:00

I feel that it should be against the law for me to not want to have an iPad. I mean, it's 2010, technology is evolving faster than it has before with electronics. Nevermind an iPad, I don't even own an iPod. I know...crazy isn't it? I'll give that a couple of seconds to sink in.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi...welcome back.

I don't own nor want an iPad or iPod. Reason why you ask? Because I consider myself "kinda-sorta old-school" in the sense that I get tremendous joy from holding my books and magazines. I utterly adore taking an hour-long trip to Staples to pick out new highlighters, pens, and pencils to mark up my literary finds. Or exhausting a good part of my afternoon sitting in the big comfy chairs at my local library skimming through potential books that may come home with me.

The smell of a new book ignites a fury of plasmic ions within my blood that speak to each other in Latin. Not really, but you get the point. So to hold a plastic device that renders no need for my highlighter is of no interest to me.

As for the iPod, I appreciate that if I want to listen to music I don't have to lug my Sony Walkman around with me anymore and flip my Michael Jackson "Bad" tape to side two...I can simply press the forward arrow to change songs. Except that when I read or write, I need total calm and quiet. I can't have the T.V. on, or the radio, even the ticking of a Grandfather Clock will get to me after a while. If I had ear buds vibrating my vestibule I'd never get anything done.

While I would never turn away the iPad, iPod, even the Kindle as gifts that I would use in my spare time, you wouldn't catch me in an Apple Store browsing either.

You will, however, catch me at Borders with a decaf coffee in my hand hiding at the corner table reading Lolita. Come over and say Hi.

Your turn: Share your thoughts on the iPad, iPod, and/or Kindle. Do they help you work or waste your time?

Good Reads in Blogs

2010-05-17T14:06:00.000-04:00

Here's what I've been reading for Monday morning.

From Time.com: Is the internet the secret to happiness?

From Julie Ortolon: 5 tips for authors who blog.

From The Creative Penn: 15 ways modern art galleries can inspire writers.

From The Urban Muse: 5 ways for writers to avoid an online scammer.

What have you been reading today?

5 Tips for Writers When Speaking Publicly

2010-05-16T14:43:00.000-04:00

As writers, some of us speak publicly at conferences, clubs, expos, and what have you. It's essential that when you decide to incorporate public speaking into your arena of work that you are calm and collected when promoting your endeavors and helping others understand theirs.

These five steps are the ones that have helped me prepare when I am asked to do any type of public speaking and I hope that when it's your turn to speak that they will help you prepare as well.

Five Tips for Preparing Writers When Speaking Publicly:

1. Know Your Material: This is step number one because it is so crucial. Just because you're being asked to speak to fellow writers about your newly published book, doesn't mean that you can go up in front of the crowd and wing it. Yes, you wrote the book and you know your material well, but there's always room for advancement. Do more research, bring an article and visual aid along to share with your audience that relates to your niche, or ask a fellow colleague to speak with you to help further the importance of your findings. Don't stop learning because you're published, you'll short change yourself as well as your audience.

2. Practice, Practice, Practice: Once your speech has been prepared and edited for clarity and time restraints, your next step will be to practice it aloud. Make sure you're speaking slowly, clearly, and pronouncing all of your words correctly. If you're from Boston but speaking in Texas, this is one of those times when your accent may hinder your depiction. To prevent any lapse in understanding from your audience, this is where your practice shall make perfect. By continuously speaking your speech aloud, you'll unconsciously train not only your brain to semi-memorize your words, but also your tongue and mouth to form them correctly. Also, practice in front of people outside your comfort zone. Your husband and mother have a favorable bias of you so it's best to ask someone other than your immediate friends and family to listen to your speech.

3. Know Your Audience: Do your research on who will be attending and great as many audience members as you can before the talk. Is it just freelance writers who will be attending or will the local news reporters be there as well, perhaps the mayor will be sitting in? These are all key questions to seek answers to well in advance of your speaking commitment so that you won't be totally blindsided when being asked questions before, during, and after your presentation.

4. Know the Room: Arrive early, super early, to your venue and walk it. Breathe it in. Touch the seat backs and allow the scent to become embedded in your conscience. No one can work a room or their audience unless you've been in their position before. During this time, check your equipment as well. Do sound checks and go through your presentation if you have enough time before guests start arriving.

5. Relax and Remain Calm: Easier said than done, I know. But like anything, the more you speak publicly the easier it gets. Your mistakes you make along the way are easier corrected with repetitiveness. If you knocked over the mic stand at your first public speaking presentation, then you'll know to place it well out of your way at your subsequent presentations. Some people are born being utterly calm and collected in front of an audience and others have to work at it. Regardless, knowing your material, your room, and your audience members is a recipe for success that anyone who speaks publicly can't deny.

Please share your public speaking experiences with us. We learn best when it's from each other.

Wallace Stevens' Poetry

2010-05-14T08:34:00.000-04:00

A poem that I enjoy from one Wallace Stevens.

Please share your thoughts below.

Large Red Man Reading by Wallace Stevens

There were ghosts that returned to earth to hear his phrases,
As he sat there reading, aloud, the great blue tabulae.
They were those from the wilderness of stars that had expected more.

There were those that returned to hear him read from the poem of life,
Of the pans above the stove, the pots on the table, the tulips among them.
They were those that would have wept to step barefoot into reality,

That would have wept and been happy, have shivered in the frost
And cried out to feel it again, have run fingers over leaves
And against the most coiled thorn, have seized on what was ugly

And laughed, as he sat there reading, from out of the purple tabulae,
The outlines of being and its expressings, the syllables of its law:
Poesis, poesis, the literal characters, the vatic lines,

Which in those ears and in those thin, those spended hearts,
Took on color, took on shape and the size of things as they are
And spoke the feeling for them, which was what they had lacked.

Poetry as Therapy? You Bet.

2010-05-12T13:43:00.001-04:00

How excited I was to read this.

Funny how something that seems like such a simple idea and method hasn't caught on in medicine until now. I'd love to see this plan take action in many more areas.

Click here to be taken to the article.

Top Writing Blogs for Writers

2010-05-12T08:25:00.001-04:00

In honor of "blogs that I enjoy" day via the May 2010 Blogathon, here's my list. I read many writing blogs, but these are the ones that I go to for information and answers to any literary/writing questions that I may have. Please note that these blogs are in no particular order.

Enjoy.

Rachelle Gardner's blog: "cba-ramblings" is a blog by literary agent Rachelle Gardner. On it, Rachelle provides her readers with not only wonderful insight into the world of publishing but also tips as to what literary agents are looking for.

BookEnds, LLC: BookEnds is a literary agency. Their blog quenches my thirst for all things literary. I enjoy that they often "tell it like it is" in the literary world.

The Creative Penn: Joanna Penn's blog is always a joy to read. She offers practical and smart advice for those looking to publish both online and off. I feel that Joanna really wants to help writers, and I appreciate that.

The Savvy Book Marketer: Dana Lynn Smith's blog offers great advice for authors and bloggers in the areas of all things savvy. She often has guest bloggers that post resourceful information.

Nonfiction Ink: Laura Cross's blog is filled with great information on writing, marketing, and writing/publishing resources.

There Are No Rules: Jane Friedman's blog on Writer's Digest should be on every writers' list of blogs they read daily. She knows her stuff as a publisher and editorial director of the messiah of writing magazines.

Jody Hedlund's Blog: Jody offers straight forward advice for writers on getting published. What more could a writer want really?

WordCount: Freelancing in the Digital Age: Michelle Rafter's blog not only offers great advice for fellow freelancers, but also started the blogathon that's brought many of us writers together. She's a wonderful "digital" friend as well.

Breaking into Freelancing; The Basic Questions Answered

2010-05-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'd like to thank Christina Katz for posting answers to these questions that I think most freelancers have asked themselves at some point when attempting to break into the field.

If you are just attempting to start writing on a freelance basis then these answers will help you; and if you're already an established freelancer then perhaps you can pass this post on to a beginner who would benefit.

Thanks Christina!

Click here to be taken to Christina's site.

Mother's Day; In Honor of Mothers

2010-05-09T09:54:00.000-04:00

Today is our day mothers! The world's way of saying "Thank You" to good mothers everywhere for all they do daily.

Below you'll find some lovely "mothering" quotes to enjoy.

And a very Happy Mother's Day to all the moms everywhere, you have my deepest gratitude today.

Enjoy.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~Jane Sellman

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~Milton Berle

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to lessen or misunderstand. ~Helen Hunt Jackson

Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. ~John Lancaster Spalding

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. ~Emily Dickinson

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. ~Victor Hugo

One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. ~George Herbert

There's nothing like a mama-hug. ~Terri Guillemets

Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. ~T. DeWitt Talmage

The precursor of the mirror is the mother's face. ~D.W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, 1971

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray

The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated. ~Washington Irving

Women know the way to rear up children (to be just)
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

No painter's brush, nor poet's pen
In justice to her fame
Has ever reached half high enough
To write a mother's name.
~Author Unknown

The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

To Blog; Perchance to Write

2010-05-07T19:10:00.003-04:00

While surfing my reader today, I came across this post from the blog "Write Livelihood" entitled "A writer's guide to blogging".

I felt that my readers could benefit from it and I also enjoyed the fact that there was a lot of information both in the blog post itself and also within the links below it.

Enjoy.

Click here to be taken to the post.

Finding Inspiration in Everyday Things

2010-05-06T13:48:00.000-04:00

When I'm home working, I look outside a lot. Sometimes it's to give my eyes a break from the nagging glare of the computer screen and other times, it's simply to gain inspiration and ideas for whatever it is that I may be writing at that time.

Today I saw crisp green leaves on the trees...every so slightly moving from the breeze. At first I thought nothing of it. But as I looked out a second time, I fixated on just the leaves and nothing else. A little cliché I know, but the inspiration came to me almost immediately.

"Green, new, refreshing, new job, new life, new baby, first time, redo, growth, flowers"....these were all words that popped into my head. There's plenty more words and feelings to attribute to new leaves and spring, but that was a good start for my fingertips because they began caressing the keyboard again and I, in turn, starting letting the ideas flow again.

Sometimes, it's the little things that give us our ideas. When we don't necessarily see the inspiration right away, that doesn't mean it's not there.

One could probably come up with a hundred words for one leaf, what that leaf means to them or what they feel when they look at the leaf. That's the idea. Take something small and run with it. Allow it to lead you into bigger arenas to find ideas.

Your turn: Where do you gain your inspiration from?

Getting Ahead in Today's Digital World

2010-05-05T13:09:00.000-04:00

Are you a writer, an author perhaps? Someone who uses digital media to your advantage?

Maybe you're a graphic designer or a budding entrepreneur.

Either way, I've put together some great links today touching on the subjects of "getting ahead", "using social media to your advantage" and "building a brand on a budget". I hope that you'll find them as useful to your career as I do.

Enjoy.

A Website First; Social Media Second From Women Entrepreneur

Building a Brand on a Budget From Entrepreneur.com

How entrepreneurs are using social networking, blogging and other internet tools to hire the best employees From Entrepreneur.com

Overcoming the Fear of NO From Harvey Mackay

The Next Wave of Digital Marketing Trends From Entrepreneur.com

Say "Thanks" before It's Just a Memory From Harvey Mackay

Your Turn: What are your work ethics regarding digital media?

Ask an Editor

2010-05-04T08:17:00.000-04:00

While searching my reader this morning, I came across "The Blood-Red Pencil" blog and saw that it was "Ask an Editor" day.

I figured my readers, and my fellow blogathoners, would benefit from this considering most of us make our living writing or perhaps some of us are writing books and need a question answered. And...not to toot my own horn or anything...but I'm always willing to promote an editor, considering I'm one myself.

Click here to be taken to "The Blood-Red Pencil".

Your turn: Do you think needing an editor is overrated? Share your comments and thoughts below.

From BookEnds Blog: The Fate of Self-Published Books

2010-05-03T08:17:00.000-04:00

I wanted to share this post with all my writing friends out there. There is an interesting question posed to "BookEnds, LLC" a literary agency regarding why some (and that number seems to be growing) publishers would prefer not to publish a book that's been self published already.

Read the post, and you be the judge.

Your Turn: How many of you have self-published? How many of you are thinking about it? Leave your comments below.

Click below to be taken to the BookEnds blog post.

http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2010/05/fate-of-self-published-works.html

5 Ways to Create An Engaging Writing Style. Guest Blogger: Laura Cross

2010-05-02T13:05:00.000-04:00

I know that "guest blogger day" on this year's blogathon isn't for a couple more weeks, but I wanted to share this post that Laura Cross graciously gave me permission to feature on my blog.

Without further adieu, today's post comes from fellow freelancer Laura Cross. I follow Laura's blogs daily and I enjoy the way she always has good tips for writers. I hope my readers will enjoy Laura's tips for creating an engaging writing style.

FIVE WAYS TO CREATE AN ENGAGING WRITING STYLE

In writing, “style” is the way you deliver your message – it’s the words you choose, the tone you use, and the way you structure sentences. Many successful practical-nonfiction books deliver their messages in a clear, concise, friendly, warm, and encouraging manner. Here are five ways to achieve a winning writing style:

1. Use Conversational Style
Write as if you were speaking to a good friend. Use informal, personal, casual words that create a comfortable trust and connect with the reader. Incorporate personal stories, anecdotes, and humor when appropriate.

2. Avoid Judgmental Language
A reader wants an author who understands and sympathizes with her problem - whether the reader needs to learn how to manage money, be a better parent, market her business, or lose 20 pounds. Avoid using judgmental stigmatizing language. Focus on what the reader can do to make good choices and improve her situation.

3. Be Reassuring and Positive
How-to and self-help readers often lack confidence. They may feel insecure about their ability to achieve the desired results. Keep your writing upbeat and optimistic. Reassure your readers that by using your program, techniques, instructions, method, or information they can reach their goals. Let them know it’s easy and many others “just like them” have achieved success. Always be supportive and create a sense of hope.

4. Address the Reader Directly
Personalize your sentences. Whenever possible, address the reader as “you.” Readers searching for answers and solutions to their problems want to hear about themselves – they want you to speak to “them” directly.

5. Keep It Simple
Clear and concise writing is the most effective. Keep your sentences short and simple – use words the average person can easily understand. Avoid technical terms when possible and always define words that may be new to the reader.

YOUR TURN: What are some of the techniques you use to create an engaging writing style?

Laura Cross is an author, screenwriter, ghostwriter, freelance book editor, and writing coach specializing in nonfiction books and script adaptation (book-to-film projects). She writes two popular blogs, www.NonfictionInk.com and www.AboutAScreenplay.com, and teaches online writing workshops www.ScenarioWritingStudio.com/workshops. Her latest book is The Complete Guide To Hiring A Literary Agent: Everything You Need To Know To Become Successfully Published.

The May Blogathon Begins!

2010-05-01T11:10:00.001-04:00

This is it folks! The May 2010 Blogathon has officially kicked off starting today.

I'm so excited to be a part of this growing phenomenon for the second year in a row. I see nothing but great things in all of the participators' future for ourselves and our blogs.

Being disciplined to write on your blog daily isn't an easy task by any means. It takes planning and dedication to keep up with the demand of your readers. It's not as simple as just posting daily, it's also very important to keep your readers engaged and interested in your content so that they want to continue coming back to your blog.

I've been dutifully planning out my posts so that my readers and followers will be both engaged and entertained whilst reading and commenting on my blog. I've put work and thought into this year's blogathon, rather than last year where I saw it as a "getting my feet wet" event for myself. I was new to the blogosphere and to blogging daily and I wrote whatever came to mind that day. Not this year, I've been a good little writer...planning where I wanted this year's blogathon to take me.

I hope that you will come along with me on this journey and not only learn from my blog but also enjoy it enough that you want to recommend it to others and use the information supplied here to help yourself in your own writing journey.

Good luck to all the other bloggers participating. I can't wait to read what's on everyone else's mind this month.

Please leave your comments below, I love hearing from my readers.

May Blogathon Starts Tomorrow!

2010-04-30T19:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm doing it again. Michelle Rafter's May Blogathon.

Perhaps committing to blogging every day for a month didn't convince me that I was crazy, so I figured why not try it again this year?

I had a blast participating in it last year. I made some new blogger friends, I gained readership for my blog, and even received some job offers from it. Overall it was a wonderful experience that gave me new insights into the world of blogging and the diligence that it takes to blog daily and make it interesting enough to hold a reader's attention.

This year, I hope to gain even more readers and friends along the way. I know that the participation level has almost doubled from when the blogathon first got underway two years ago.

To learn more about the blogathon and what it entails, go here to visit Michelle Rafter's blog.

Kick-off is tomorrow and I hope you will follow me on this years blogathon journey.

There's Nothing Like a Good Book

2010-03-17T19:42:00.000-04:00

My eyes feast on the cover, the title, the design. My hands become claws around the rectangle and I bring the wad of meticulously cut paper to my nose. I inhale and breathe in that virgin emanation of a brand new book, almost utterly untouched from the printer to my wrists. Graceful and fluid I carefully open the protective jacket and begin to fan the pages close to my face, still high from the inhale of the newness. I feel my heartbeat pick up. In just a few short moments I will be curled up on my couch and whisked away to another's reality, entering back into my own only when I deem necessary.

I carefully choose a bookmark to hold my place in a wonderland so close to my grasp yet I know it only exists in my mind. The alluring pull of a surrealism mystified by the know of my conscience. I know I will enjoy this read for I picked an author to guide me that I've visited with before, almost as mad as the Hatter himself.

I sink into my spot on the couch and begin. My eyes follow the depicted imagery like a hawk following their prey, waiting for the moment I can touch my pencil to the spot and parenthesize the ink that forms the words I so dearly feel. I mark up my books voraciously as to not forget words that tickle my tongue or swing my pendulum of linguistics. I adore authors who play with their words, slithering around the oblivious to hide the obvious.

The sheer joy of becoming enraptured in another's mind is the pull to books for me. A brand new book excites my psyche and the Literature lover inside me takes over. I can't control her, trust me I've tried.

The words library and bookstore stirs a euphoria in me that lies dormant at times. Used books hold character no doubt. But a brand new book brushes the cowlick on my sensations flat again, and I am once again myself, a reader of great literature and astounding authors.

For now I must get lost in a new book that I received yesterday, it has been calling my name for almost twenty-four hours, and I must obey.
Describe your love of books and/or authors. I adore hearing from my readers.

Free Writing: Inspiration at its best

2010-02-21T18:28:00.003-05:00

According to Wikipedia, Free Writing (also called "stream of consciousness writing") is described as a technique in which a person writes for a set amount of time without regard for grammar, punctuation, spelling or topic.

I've done this writing exercise many times, and was first introduced to it in middle school. I remember being utterly enveloped in it and couldn't wait to try it out more. I think it's a fantastic way to not only overcome writer's block but also to gain inspiration. You'll be amazed at what is running through your head when you're not concentrating on your mind and conscience.

The exercise does not discriminate. You can be a brand new writer, a seasoned author, or a first time freelancer. Because you're writing what's in your head, you create the content. It's one of a kind content. No one else has it or has thought of it. Interesting don't you think? I do.

Sure the writing will most likely be a garbled mess, but it's supposed to be. Don't worry about if it makes sense as you write it. The act of putting into perspective comes later, let the words marinate on the page awhile after you've finished writing. Sometimes I tuck my free writing away in a notebook or insert it into my file cabinet and come back to it days, weeks, even months later. I've created wonderful book ideas, characters, and articles from the otherwise indecipherable ink.

I tend to favor unlined journals when I free write, as I enjoy writing every which way on the paper. But a regular notebook will do just fine. There are no rules regarding free writing on your computer, but I am not a fan of performing this writing exercise on my laptop. Longhand has always been a favorite of mine. I enjoy the fluidness of liquefied thoughts and ideas. For me, longhand is an ultimate calming sensation.

Stream-of-conscious writing is great to do anytime, not just when you feel you're ensnared in writer's block. And you don't have to put your writing away, you're more than welcome to dive into deciphering it and putting it into some sort of order as soon as you're finished.

Let myself and my readers know how free writing has worked out for you. Useful? Useless?

Writers Should Write Daily

2010-02-06T15:43:00.002-05:00

In my daily internet surfing routine, I often come across a variety of other blogs that stress the importance of writing daily if you want to call yourself a "writer". However, I'm not sure that all of us writers really grasp that point.

Consider daily writing as an emotional catharsis. You have an idea, or something is bothering you, even a small notion of something that interests you is important in your world. I say your because what you may think is important to you may not seem so important to others, but it is important nonetheless, and thus requires writing down. Writing it (whatever it may be) down can help to declutter your mind. It could be something as strong as your feelings while going through a divorce, or perhaps it's something as small as writing out your grocery list.

As I've stated in prior posts on this blog, I carry a notebook with me everywhere I go. Sometimes it's a big three subject notebook, other times it's a pocket-sized Moleskine. Regardless of its size, I always have something to record what's in my head.

This daily writing not only cleanses my thoughts, but it also keeps my muse alive. I'm nourishing her by feeding into my impulses and keeping her hydrated by allowing the ink to flow from my pen. She thanks me by continually giving me ideas to write on.

I feel it's also important to write everything down since distractions are everywhere. One minute I'm thinking I need to visit a particular site to read more on a writer's conference that I know is coming up soon, and the next I'm wondering which right hand turn I'm to take. I've learned, mostly through trial and error, that if I think it...I need to write it...or I'll most certainly forget it.

I encourage you to write daily. Be it a ten page narrative, a short story, a poem, even your "to-do" list...write it down. And when your muse seems hungry for ink, give in - pick a quiet spot and let all your thoughts flow. For all we know, our daily writings could be the next big novel or the next Pulitzer Prize winner.

Good luck writers and please, share your muse stories with us. We learn best when it's from each other.

Genuine Laughter

2010-01-31T15:38:00.000-05:00

That deep in your gut feeling when something is so funny, it's so absolutely genuine. Your breathe becomes scarce and your face turns tomato red. The one to whom I owe this loving honor...my 3 year old son.

Although we laugh together daily, I'm compelled to depict just how much I enjoy these "catch my breath" laugh sessions with my little boy. Everything is new to children and to see and hear how innocently he sees the world around him stirs emotions in me that I've either forgotten that I had, or somehow seem new to me altogether.

When my son forms the words on his lips and his angelic voice then culminates the syllables into something understandable, I can sense the rumble of laughter making its way up through my rib cage and I can't help but close my eyes and enjoy it. It feels lovely and inhabiting to laugh so genuinely.

Priceless is the look on my son's face when he didn't think he said anything funny but watches me laugh. That inquisitive almost blank stare just makes me want to laugh some more...so I do. And I feel even more refreshed.

For in that instant that laughter takes hold of me, my cares and worries cease. What is troubling is now repressed, and anything that causes anxiety can't help but be calmed. I am free in that moment. It is that tender moment when I cradle my son close so that he too can feel the roar of laughter that he created within me, and I hug him until I can catch my breathe again.

Genuine love, genuine laughter...two things that seem so easy to grasp and hold on to between a mother and a child reminds me that no one else in this world can make me laugh like that. That kind of laughter is so real, so big, and yet so relaxing.

Try it sometime, it's exhilarating.

Family Relationships Blog Day on WOW- Women on Writing

2009-10-13T14:01:00.001-04:00

"Today I'm participating in a mass blogging! WOW! Women On Writing has gathered a group of blogging buddies to write about family relationships. Why family relationships? We're celebrating the release of Therese Walsh's debut novel today. The Last Will of Moira Leahy, (Random House, October 13, 2009) is about a mysterious journey that helps a woman learn more about herself and her twin, whom she lost when they were teenagers. Visit The Muffin (http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/blog.html) to read what Therese has to say about family relationships and view the list of all my blogging buddies. And make sure you visit Therese's website (http://www.theresewalsh.com) to find out more about the author."

In honor of the WOW blog, todays post is a short but very sweet one.

My son and I were cooking this morning, it's an activity that we do as often as we can in my small kitchen. Below is the picture I snapped while he was trying to imitate mommy mixing the lasagna. Too cute. Enjoy.

A Mother's Unconditional Love

2009-10-10T15:37:00.002-04:00

I first felt the powerful bond of a mother-child love when I looked at the pregnancy test. That fleeting second that I found out I was pregnant changed me forever.

I knew there was no going back to my old self. The feelings and thoughts I had prior to becoming a mother washed away with the incoming tide of motherhood. I would never again think only of myself. I now thought and did for two.

It's very rare, almost non-existent, that I am speechless. Within that wonderful moment of finding out I was going to be a mother, I was at a complete loss for words. My emotions took the reigns. My brain had yet to comprehend what was taking place within my womb. I was developing my son with every passing second. I was also becoming a mother at the same time.

I savored and adored my pregnancy and unborn child. I would sit for hours caressing my engorged stomach, full with new life. I talked to my son as if I had already bore him. I knew he could hear me and he would often kick me to reassure me he enjoyed our conversations. Even then, my motherly love enveloped him. I knew I would never love anyone or anything more.

When the day came that I brought my son into this world, I had given birth to a new me as well. I've never felt so powerful, so life giving, and so enormous in my life. Enormous in the sense that there was nothing that would ever keep me from my child. I had all the strength and courage in the world to nurture and protect my new baby.

Within moments of holding him, I memorized his scent and his movements. I could have picked him out of the nursery blindfolded if I had to. We had the bond. That impermeable mother-child bond. Never before had I felt such immaculate love and conception. I was his and he was mine. Nothing in this world could break our ties. I had created, nourished, and given life to the most beautiful little baby that I had ever seen.

My son is three now and the unconditional love I felt the moment I knew I was going to be his mother hasn't wavered the slightest. If anything, it grows stronger everyday. I need my son just as much as he needs his mommy.

We sleep together, we laugh together, and we play together. I feel most vibrant when he is nestled in my arms at night sleeping soundly. When I gaze at his perfect face I can't help but be overcome with emotion. Tears run down my face and I lick the salty liquid that is pure love.

Until you become a mother you never really understand the bond between mother and child. It moves mountains and plants seeds of love in everything that it touches. A mother is not a force to be reckoned with, but a gentle giant that cradles the body of the most important being on the planet.

When I hear my son call "mommy" I know angels are flying within that decibel of sound. The stream of silent, unconditional love runs to and from my son and I. He loves me, but I adore him more than life itself.

Please share your comments below. Mothers learn from each other in the most loving ways.

Curling Up With A Good Book

2009-08-19T17:31:00.002-04:00

I took last weekend and stayed home. And when I say stayed home...I MEAN stayed home. I had done any errands previously during the week and purposely kept my schedule open on the weekend to do nothing except relax. I don't recall ever leaving the house.

As I thought about what I should do with my 48 hours of free time, I could feel an unspoken and understood longing emanating from my bookshelves. I casually strolled over and inhaled. I adore the smell of books. That delicious scent of a books binding, and the way that the pages unintentionally take on the smell of their surroundings lures me close to their silhouettes every time.

I ran my fingers over each title as I read it and carefully chose the one that best danced off my tongue.

I vowed silently to myself to only rise from the couch to eat, sleep, drink, and go to the bathroom. Other than that, I wanted nothing more than to sit and curl up with my literary find. If you visit my blog frequently, you are more than aware that my love for reading and writing overpowers most everything that I do. So naturally, choosing a weekend to do nothing with would wontedly lead me to one or the other.

To read with nothing but silence around you is exhilarating. I get completely enveloped not only in the book, it's plot, and the characters, but also in myself. I reflect on my weak areas as well as my strong points. I sometimes see myself in the characters and can't help but wonder "what if?"

I read and read. I didn't even turn the TV on. It was fantastic. It was magical. It was rejuvenating.

Try it sometime.

The Power of A Blank Piece of Paper

2009-07-16T19:43:00.006-04:00

Sometimes when I look at a blank piece of paper, I see nothing. Other times I see a whole new world waiting to be prodded.

Once I add a pen to the mix, doors open that once were closed. Locked even. No name characters beg to be applied to every day scenarios that intermingle with the psyche. That luscious and fluid grace that ink provides as it's being coaxed out of the tip with subtle movement from my hand screams creation in an otherwise gray world.

I can't wait to play with lucid words and parenthesise my thoughts all while deciding if I want to rhyme or sing the previous word. Symphonic phonics grabs at my tongue. I repeat the words that I scribed like Beethoven felt his notes; with passion, longing, heartache, smiles, desire, and an avidity for all things meaningful.

Sometimes I am called to write long, flowing prose styles and other times my soul grabs at all things lascivious. Either way, a blank piece of paper is so much more that white and blue.

Those thin blue lines dance under my lids and the pure, snow white of the paper invokes dozens of meanings to words I never knew existed prior till now. Happy endings and false pretenses have nothing on what sits enigmatically upon my banister of contemplations.

Playful bantering of synonyms that kiss, and sounds dance to the rhythm of a beat not quite known to them. Writing is such a rapture of mine I could never abandon it. I have to write to survive. I have to gather all the emotions and thoughts that I feel or I'll surely go mad. If they never see the light of a books binding, I'm fine with that. They live on blank pieces of paper that mean nothing to another, yet everything to someone else.

Childless for a Night

2009-07-15T22:16:00.004-04:00

Tonight I am without my son. He is sleeping out at his father's house. I don't normally allow my son to sleep out because my motherly instincts simply don't agree with it. Ever since finding out I was pregnant with my son almost three years ago, I have become insanely protective of him. I have this yearning desire to be with him as much as I can. Don't get me wrong, I do adore my "alone" time when I can catch it that is, but for all intensive purposes, I thoroughly enjoy not only being a mother in its entirety, but also simply being with my son. There really is no other male that I could even fathom spending as much time with.

I love the way, at almost three years old, that my child adores me. I love that mellifluous little voice that calls "mommy" when he needs something. I love his scent. I have it running through my veins. I could pick him out of a crowd of billions of little boys even if I was blindfolded. I love wiping the snots that drip down his cute little nose with my back of my index finger. And I even love the way he wipes his snots all over me, and even smiles when doing so.

So many motherly emotions have taken precedence over everything else in my life that it baffles me how I survived and actually lived prior to giving birth to him. That beautiful, sweet, and luscious smell of a newborn had me from the time I pushed him out. My arms became iron clad...nothing was going to harm my child. My entire being protects him like an invisible force field utterly impenetrable from the outside. A United States Marine couldn't pry my son from me if he tried. Motherly love, there's nothing like it in the world.

So for tonight, I will try and enjoy my own company for a change. While I do enjoy my solitude, I enjoy mothering my son so much more.

Please...share your insight with myself and my readers. We'd love to hear your thoughts and advice.

Michael Jackson: Know That You Will Be So Missed

2009-07-10T19:16:00.002-04:00

Like most of the world, I was floored when I heard the news of Michael Jackson's death. I remember exactly where I was and I'll never forget the immediate feeling of loss and shock that I felt.

I grew up on MJ's music. I envied the dancing ability he possessed. I watched him tip his hat and stand on his toes with the utmost loving affection. The few strands of hair that always fell into his face, the tight white t-shirt, and the crotch grabbing mesmerized me. I thought he was one of the sexiest men on the planet...in his own way.

I seriously can't believe we lost him. This was a death that shouldn't have surfaced for at least thirty to forty more years. Michael should still be here touring, raising his children, dancing, singing, and caring for others. The amount of compassion he had for others astounds me and leaves me literally breathless. I wish I could look at the world that way.

MJ gave his all to help countless children and causes around the world. But yet, the media chose to focus not on the good he did but on the weirdness they thought he was capable of. Al Sharpton said it best at Michael's memorial: "I want Michael's kids to know...ain't nothing strange about your daddy, what was strange is what he had to go through."

The media helped contribute to Michael's untimely death. The false molestation accusations that he had to endure took a toll on him, as they would with any one of us. Those accusations destroyed his spirit and you could see it in his face every time he walked into court. He was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. And now that he's gone, I feel more horrible than ever. I can't even imagine what it's like to live in a world where all you want to do is be yourself, be "normal", perform for your fans, and help those less fortunate...and the media and haters keep picking at you. They pick until blood drips...until your spirit is broken...they pick at you until you are gutted.

What Michael Jackson wanted was simply to be himself, to be a good father to his children, and to love his fans. It's too bad that it took his death for most of the world to realize that.

Even though I've never met MJ and didn't know him personally, I feel with every fiber of my being that I lost a family member. I weeped during his memorial service. I went through almost an entire box of tissues. Part of me feels sad and empty at his loss while other parts of me smile because I'm hoping he is finally at peace.

Thank you MJ for the dance moves, the beautiful songs, your compassion for the human race, and for your unconditional love that you had for your children, your family, and your fans. Know that you are respected for your talents and that you will be SO missed.

Infants, Crying and Parenting

2009-06-26T15:06:00.003-04:00

My son will turn three at the end of July. So, it is often that I peruse the web and come across parenting information.

I understand that everyone parents differently, but I have to open my mouth in awe when I read information that tells new parents to leave their newborn infant to "cry it out." I mean, really, how does this make any sense?

I also understand that not every woman is thrilled to become a mother, and that the instant mother-child bond that I felt with my son the second I peed on the stick and saw two lines...doesn't always happen to mothers. That in itself is a sad epidemic in my eyes, and to be frank, I don't even remotely understand how a mother can not feel not only an instant bond with their child, but also the immediate unconditional love that forges between parent and child.

I am not claiming expertise in the parenting field, but I do know that I never once allowed for my son to "cry it out", especially when he was a newborn. If he cried, he got picked up, changed, fed, or simply cuddled with. Sometimes just picking him up and allowing for him to nestle as close as he could with me soothed him enough to end the crying. Infants need human contact, they need their mother, and they need attention. For more information on this, please visit www.attachmentparenting.org.

My son also sleeps with me, as I mentioned in a previous post. He has since his birth. It feels natural to me, to have my own flesh and blood right next to me. Nestled into his mother's arms. He's so content, even at three to be so close to me. He frequently asks me for hugs, and he never gets denied. I don't care what I'm doing, I'll always take time to hug my son. I've seen some moms, one of whom is my close friend, completely ignore her son when he asks for a hug. It's appalling to me that a parent wouldn't want to hug their child. But again, it's not my place to judge how others parent their children, and I'm no expert.

Everyone has different views on how to parent, that's no secret. What I would like to see research on, so please point me in the direction of any if you are privy to such information, is why some parents are not close to their children? Was it because they were not close to their parents while growing up, or perhaps they resent becoming parents in the first place? The factors are numerous and monumental I'm sure. A lot goes into why and how you parent your child(ren) the way you do.

Please, share your stories and theories. I'd love to hear them.

Father's Day

2009-06-21T18:59:00.001-04:00

For as far back as I can remember, my dad was awesome. He was always there for my brother and I, fixing our bikes, or getting dirty in the sand box with us. He was a fantastic father, and he still is.

I'm turning thirty in a few days, and I have to admit that it wasn't until my early to mid twenties that I truly appreciated my parents. I finally understood all they gave up so that their children never had to go without. I've also realized that I've learned so much from each parent.

From my mother, I learned to appreciate being a woman, how to be my own person, how to be a fantastic mother to my son, to follow my dreams, and to live my dreams. Mommy taught me that in order to become someone, you have to be someone first. Find out who you are, be comfortable in your own skin and with yourself, and never listen when someone tells you you're not good enough or that you may not make it. While I was growing up, she showed me time and time again that a mother's love was powerful, life giving, unbreakable, and most importantly, that it was unconditional.

But so much of the person that I am today is also because I had a loving father in my life. Dad taught me how to ride a bike, how to mow a lawn, plant and maintain a garden, be a woman that respects herself, be a daughter, be a role model to my son, and most importantly, my dad taught me to how be independent. He told me to never rely on anyone to get what you want. If I wanted something, I simply achieved it. There was no failing, dad said it simply wasn't an option.

Having a father's love surround you when your a female is something that's hard to describe. It gives you such a sense of being wanted, of being adored, and respected. I was never afraid of anything with my dad around. The fact that he was a big Italian guy that had a permanent puss on his face was enough to scare people in the other direction anyway. But just his presence around me made me feel invincible. I felt I could move mountains if I wanted to.

I am the woman and mother I am today thanks to both of my parents. But it is because of my father that I am a strong and absolute female. A father's love and attention cannot be replaced. And having that strong fatherly shoulder to cry on when your young and adolescent years flash before you means more to a daughter than any boyfriend ever will. I learned that when it came time for me to find a man in my life that I had no other choice but to emulate my father. After all, he was the only male authority figure that I had to go on...that I had to clone.

I enjoy manly men, thanks to my dad. I love a dirty guy - an auto mechanic, a construction foreman. But I also love an authoritative gentleman, a man that knows what he wants. A handsome fellow in an Armani suit and tie grabs my attention as well as any bookstore. My father was the man I wanted to duplicate because I had so much respect for him.

Father's Day is a wonderful chance to say thanks to the man in your life that picked you up when you fell. The man that held out his hand for a firm handshake when your boyfriends came to pick you up for your dates. But most of all, the man that you have enough respect for to call Dad.

Thanks to my dad, and also to my mom, for making me the center of their world.

Please share your stories, my readers and I would love to hear them.

A Writer's Thoughts

2009-06-17T20:53:00.005-04:00

"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron -

It's no secret that I'm a Byron (and a Poe) fan. His above quote ignites a rush of ideas that have been nesting within my loins, simply screaming to be written down. I think it's the same for every writer that lands upon whatever it is that gives them inspiration. Be it the flowers outside, the birds singing their harmonic tunes, or the gentle breeze that ruffles the fall leaves, inspiration is all around us.

For me, inspiration speaks in forms of words, quotes, colors, sounds, and writing. I find that simply reading calms my soul. When it's so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, the silence itself is astounding. I've always been a fan of solitude. Not just for the fact that I get to know myself, but also because silence speaks volumes without saying a thing. Cliche, I know...but true nonetheless.

So when writers begin writing, whatever it is they may be thinking of at that moment, something magical happens. Ideas mix with feelings and words intermingle with dreams, all producing a masterpiece that now has bore an audience. Once words amalgamate with paper, a story is given new life. Characters find friends, mothers bare children, men become fathers, and something that just a moment ago was nothing...now has been given a voice. And sing it shall, just you watch.

A single word, sentence, or paragraph means a world of difference from one person to the next. You may read a story and gain nothing, while the person next to you reads the same story and allows for the tears of their triumphs to rain down. Words are powerful, life giving, and tremendous. And never underestimate their influence over complete strangers.

I doubt that when iconic writers such as Byron, Poe, Melville, and Shakespeare were penning their thoughts, they allowed room for an audience. From studying them through college and on my own, I've learned that all the aforementioned wrote because their souls commanded it. Poe wrote The Raven inside a farmhouse while battling depression. I'm sure he highly doubted it would reach publication, let alone be canonized in high school and college classrooms today.

For all of you that are writers presently, and for all of you that are scared to write down your thoughts, my advice to you would simply be to WRITE. Write more...never less. Whatever lives in your thoughts needs to be authored. It needs a home among the greatest literary geniuses that continue to live on today through their writing. Find the courage to start a journal, a blog, or even a book. You never know whose life you may change simply because they took the time to read your persuasions.

Please, share your writing thoughts. I admire other people's determination when it comes to writing.

Co-Sleeping: Yay or Nay?

2009-06-14T13:33:00.004-04:00

Co-sleeping...touchy subject I know.

However, in my opinion, co-sleeping with your baby is Heaven. I'm an advocate of it 100%. My son, who will turn three at the end of July, has been sleeping with me since birth. When in the hospital, I chose not to leave him in the nursery. I requested that he be in my room at all times unless otherwise medically necessary.

And when he arrived home, I knew that instinctively I wanted him to be as close to me at all times as humanly possible. Infants are utterly helpless. They need their mother (or care giver) around the clock. Therefore, I thought it was insanely natural to have my son sleep with me, and according to the information I've read on the subject, it is. So much so, that I didn't even purchase a crib. I didn't add a crib to my registry and I instructed all my close family members to not even be on the look out for a crib, I flat out didn't want one.

I enjoy my son being close to me, even now as he gets ready to turn three. He's still helpless and he needs his mommy.

I adore the smell of my son and the way he nestles into the crook of my arm when it's nap time and bedtime. I love crawling into bed at night after I have put my son down and pulling him close to me so that we can cuddle and become as close as safety allows.

If you're a new mother and you may be worried about any dangers associated with co-sleeping, I direct you to Natural Child , Mothering, or CoSleeping.org. Those three websites will give you all the research and statistics associated with the topic.

I can also tell you, as a mother who co-sleeps with their child, that when my son was a newborn I hardly changed positions while sleeping. This wasn't done deliberately. Your natural mothering instincts take precedence. You know your newborn is sleeping next to you, and for me, that was enough to tell my body not to move. It may sound like it was uncomfortable, but I can assure you it was not. I found it amazing that the exact position I went to sleep in, was the same one I woke up in. I'm sure this doesn't happen for all moms, but in my case, it did.

The benefits of co-sleeping are tremendous for me and my son. He was never a sound sleeper and he woke up quite often throughout the night until he was about two, and maybe a little older. He would wake up to eat, or reach for his pacifier that fell out of his mouth, or simply to nuzzle closer to mommy. It was so much easier to lull him back to sleep with him right next to me, and he slept for longer periods of time when he was an infant. And that meant that mommy got to sleep decently as well. Sometimes, we could go up to four hours before he wanted to eat again. And I see that even today, when he wakes, he is extremely well rested from getting a full nights sleep.

While co-sleeping may not appeal to all mothers, it worked for me and my son. If I have another child, I will absolutely co-sleep with them as well. And when I feel the time is right, I will transition my son into his own room and bed. But for now, there's nothing more sublime then taking in the smell of my son, or feeling his drool land on my arm, or even allowing for the faint sound of his little snores to help lull me to sleep.

Please, share your motherly outlook on co-sleeping. I'd love to hear your side of the story.

My Favorite Places to Write

2009-06-12T16:56:00.002-04:00

I'm a person who needs silence when writing.

Therefore, crowded coffee shops don't quite cut it for me most of the time when it comes down to writing for money. I prefer to be home, with my feet up on my over sized ottoman, hot cup of tea in hand. I am also a person who prefers cooler weather to hot, so when the winter time hits and I'm curled up on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa and my pink bunny slippers on, life just doesn't get much better. My laptop is my best friend when I'm getting my freelance writing and editing done.

However, if I am writing for my own pleasure, then I'm a person who prefers writing long hand. To sit down with an open, lined notebook or journal, my favorite pen, and my two cats at my feet, is simply heaven for me. Computers are grand, don't get me wrong, but there is just something insanely relaxing about putting pen to paper and allowing your hand to guide the pen in upward strokes across the paper. To really focus on and savor your writing is a fairly cheap form of therapy for me. Long hand also allows me to become one with my words. I also read aloud my writing often. I prefer words that linger on the palate and appreciate being sung by the tongue.

It is this writing for my own pleasure that sometimes takes me outside to write. I appreciate an empty park (bench or grass) and an ice cold tea with a splash of lemon to help alleviate the sometimes stress of being a mother. I allow for the freshly cut grass to dance in between my toes and take in the smells of the flower gardens nearby. I never bring my laptop with me when I'm writing for my own pleasure. I simply would never be able to engross myself in the semi-trance-like state that writing puts me in. That horrid key tapping sound would ruin the rhythm of my prose and interrupt the dreams I allow room for in my writing.

Sweet, playful i-dotting and t-crossing...that's all I want to hear when I'm writing for my own pleasure in an empty park. I want to gaze lovingly at a brand new, jet black Moleskine journal and feel that little bit of anticipation that builds right before I take it out of it's wrapper. And when my heart fluttering subsides and I open it up to the first page, I can't wait to grab my Paper Mate and allow the two to become one. The mating of pens, journals, and a passion for recording your innermost thoughts.

Share your favorite places to write, I'd love to hear the inspiration you gain when being there.

Forgetting Children in Cars

2009-06-10T08:23:00.003-04:00

So here I am, perusing the web with my coffee in hand, and I start my day with this post from momlogic "Baby dies in hot car."

Fantastic way to start my morning...not.

For starters, can mothers/parents please tell me how you forget your children in the car? Anyone?

I'm a mom, I travel with my son in the car daily, and I have never even come close to forgetting him anywhere I am, let alone in a car.

It's such a preposterous act that I simply don't understand it. You go through all the trouble of strapping your children in a car, then you find a parking space, get out, and lock your car up without taking out the human being you strapped in ten minutes earlier? I can't...I just cannot comprehend the absentmindedness of parents some times.

There is no excuse, as far as I'm concerned, for leaving your children in a car. Period.

Please do share your thoughts and opinions on such a weighty topic.

Guest Blogger: Jennifer Fink

2009-06-08T13:18:00.008-04:00

Today I have a wonderful guest blogger, Jennifer Fink. We met during the May Blogathon that we were both a part of. Jenny is a full time stay at home mom and freelance writer living in southeastern Wisconsin. She home schools her four boys who range in ages from 11 to 3. Jenny's blog is a wonderful mix of both modern mothering and what it's like to raise four boys, please check it out, you won't be disappointed.

Here's what Jenny wrote for us today:

Staying Sane

I write from home and home school four boys. My life is – how to say this? - chaotic.

There’s noise, constant action and the continual sense that something else needs my attention. Often, something else does require attention. Take, for example, the time this winter when I sent my youngest son out to play just as the phone rang. It was an editor, so I took the call. Meanwhile, my son, in his zeal to shovel snow, wandered out into the street and was rescued by a snowplow driver.

Balancing work and life is never easy. Staying sane while balancing work and life is a minor miracle. And I won’t lie: I’m not always sure I pull it off. (Just ask my kids and husband.)

So far, though, I’ve managed to avoid institutionalization, so I must be doing something right. Here, then, are my Top Five Tips for Staying Sane:

Do what you love. I love to read. I could play the “no time” card, but that would mean depriving myself of the one activity that has always entertained, relaxed, challenged, inspired and informed me. So I read constantly. I read while eating breakfast. (The kids inevitably finish up before I do – no doubt because they’re halfway through by the time I’m done serving them all!) I read when I’m in the bathroom. I read before bed, in the van, on the couch. Anytime I have a few minutes, I read.

Connect to the wider world. Part of reading, for me, is staying in touch with the outside world. Newsweek, the Sunday paper and online news keep me informed, while social networking keeps me in touch with real, live human beings. Laugh if you want, but Twitter, Facebook and online writing communities such as FLX are invaluable for us work-at-home types.

Move. I am not what you would call a natural athlete. In fact, I’ve managed to make it well into my thirties without ever playing an organized sport. But I’ve finally learned the benefits of movement. As much as I love sitting in my chair and reading, I’ve learned that exercising energizes me and clears my mind. It can be hard to make myself go, but I never regret going to aerobics or heading to the gym.

Find joy in everyday moments. My life contains a lot of certifiable crazy-making things: Cats that puke. Boys who love to torture one another. Clocks that spin far too fast. If I concentrated on the craziness and the craziness alone, I’d never make it through the day. Instead, I relish the feel of my three-year-old son’s arms squeezing my neck. I cuddle under a soft blanket as I read to my eight-year-old. And I listen as the boys laugh in the other room.

Relax. My relaxation method of choice is the hot bath. My Dad always said, “Everything looks better after a hot bath and a good night’s sleep.” I think he’s right – even if I occasionally sacrifice sleep to make time for a hot bath.

What about you? How do you stay sane?

The Presence of a Parent

2009-06-07T17:45:00.001-04:00

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

Ain't that the truth, huh?

Parents know how important it is to be a dominant presence within your child's life, but sometimes I'm convinced they don't understand it.

Speaking from my own experiences, I am a stay at home mother to my son. I only have one child and therefore I'm sure that it's much easier for me to give 100% of myself to my child than say - a mother with three or four kids - or even two. But I can't speak for those moms, because I'm not one. I have only one human being who longs for my attention and my presence. The only thing he asks of me is "mommy play." My son, at three, has no idea if we're rich or poor, and he doesn't care. If he only had one toy to play with, and a mommy who sat on the floor with him all day and played with him, he'd be happy.

Parents tend to replace their presence with presents. You know who you are. You think that buying your child that Big Wheel will replace all the long hours that you put in at the office. Newsflash: it won't. From birth until old age, kids need their parents. Not just to feed, shelter, and comfort them, but to be there for them and be parents to them. To sit on the floor and play Matchbox cars or Barbies means more to your children than any toy you could buy them.

Please, don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming to be an expert on child rearing, and here's another newsflash for you: no one is. Every child is different, and every parent is different. You parent exactly like your parents did, if you had a good upbringing. Or, if you had a horrible childhood, you parent completely different, hoping to give your children a better life. Either way, you're a product of your environment.

For me, I choose to shower my son with my presence. I spend hours each day playing with him, coloring, cooking, playing cars, or kicking a ball around. Your children want you around, never forget that. Make your child your priority instead of your job, or whatever it is that may take precedence over your parenting. I know, for some, it's easier said than done if you're the sole money maker. Regardless, your children are only their age once, you will never get back today. And your children will never forget that you weren't there when they just wanted your attention, or to spend some alone time with you.

I chose to make myself a stay at home mom because I never wanted to miss a moment with my son. I think he literally grows before my eyes. To think that just three years ago I brought him home from the hospital, it seems like yesterday to me. I'm glad that I don't have to put long hours in at the office and miss out on my sons first anything. My company means more to my son that any Transformer action figure I could buy him. Presence versus presents, they sound exactly alike, but carry an entire world of difference to your children.

Please share your thoughts and opinions. We learn best when it's from each other.

Guest Blogger: Huriya Manzar

2009-06-05T08:56:00.004-04:00

Today I have the pleasure of having a guest blogger. Huriya and I met during the May Blogathon that I was a part of. She expressed a likeness to my work and I asked her if she would be interested in being a guest blogger someday. Have a look at her blog, she posts regularly about her life as a mom.

Here is Huriya's post that she wrote for us today:

Danielle is kind enough to let me be a guest blogger on her awesome site today. I have been blogging for more than three years now, mostly about my day to day events with a sprinkle of book/movie reviews plus arbitrary thoughts on events or observations and then I top it off with my favorite quotes. Initially the purpose was to document my life and my feelings, because it's always fascinating for me to go back in time and read about my state of mind under certain circumstances.

However, over time I have realized that even though blogging helps me in therapeutic ways, writing in general forces me to think more analytically and logically about my life. For example, when searching for interesting topics I found myself writing about Arranged Marriages vs. Love Marriages, Brand Name shopping madness, Why have kids?, Why get married?, Different conversation styles and what they tell about a person's personality and many more.

I also found that I love to describe events in engaging and funny ways, I have found that has always been the hardest for me. I have never known the difference between reporting an event or pulling the reader into a scene prior to my blogging (micro) career. But this is one of the many things I learned.

Lastly, but the most important thing I have realized from blogging, is that writing is my passion. I have never taken a writing class or wrote anything formally before (except for term paper in college), and after two years of casual blogging it dawned on me that writing is what fulfills me intellectually and creatively.

If you decide to stop by at my blog I am sure you will find at least a topic or two that will interest you and if it does, feel free to comment. You can read more about me here.

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Thanks again for taking the time to tell us about yourself Huriya. It's been a pleasure having you as my guest blogger today.

If you are interested in being a guest on my blog, please send me an email through my web site and we can put something together. Guest blogging is a fantastic way to get your name out there, and it's free, even better.

Some Secrets of the Freelance Life

2009-06-03T18:13:00.008-04:00

I came across an awesome post by Michael Geffner entitled "My Freelance Writing Secrets." I enjoyed the post so much that I thought it would be best to not only give him some well deserved credit for writing a great post, but also to put in my two cents on the matter because, after all, this is my blog.

Michael Geffner's first point is crucial: "Be prepared for a roller coaster ride." When I started freelancing myself as a writer and an editor, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Lets face it, there's a lot of competition out there. Some know how to write and some don't. As I stated before in an earlier post, I don't believe writers are made, I think they're born. Writing is either in your blood, or it's not. Edward Cullen should be able to feed from me and quote Poe after, that's how I feel.

Michael also hits on the importance of being disciplined. You have to put in the time to get the time. You should be researching new article ideas constantly, and emailing editors to see if you can turn their attention to you. If you think that Random House is going to call you to write a book, think again "sista", you're not J.K. Rowling. It's part of your job as a writer to make publishers and magazines want to publish your ideas and stories. Which brings me to my next point...

If you want your freelancing career to really take off, understand that you have to stand out. There are tons of other writers who think they're better than you. Maybe they're right, maybe they're not. Image is everything, and don't ever forget that. Find an area that you can excel in, for example, if you're a mother than perhaps writing about parenting would be an avenue to pursue.

Michael also brings up a great point that you should always be hustling. While working on one article or story, start browsing for new ones. This way you'll always be busy, you'll always be writing, and you'll always be building your portfolio. And if you're a writer, this is crucial for your survival in the field.

Being a freelancer isn't always easy, trust me. You have to market yourself daily, work this into your schedule. I personally devote three to four hours a day marketing myself. This includes blogging, commenting on other blogs, Twitter, LinkedIn, et cetera.

However, if your calling in life is to be a writer and you're good at it, then don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it or your not good enough. Keep marketing yourself and sending out those queries. One line at a time, you'll get there.

Please share your writing tips, it's nice when writers can learn from each other.

Yes, I'm a Twilight Fan

2009-06-02T09:06:00.003-04:00

For any of you that watched MTV's Movie Awards Saturday night, it will come as no surprise that Twilight took the win in just about every category. I've never seen anything like it on the MTV Movie Awards actually. The Twilight phenomena is HUGE....that's not even the right word...colossal, immeasurable, mammoth, massive...you get the picture.

I am a humongous Twilight fan. I know, the writing isn't all that great, and the story could have sat in a drawer for a few years and marinated, then gone back to and rewritten in some parts. But the plot...is what grabs me. A forbidden love between a vampire and a mortal. How can you not be a fan of such a taboo? I was a late bloomer when it came to reading the books however. I picked up the first book days before the movie opened. I kept telling myself it couldn't be good writing...it's a teen thing. But because I kept seeing the books everywhere I went, after a while, they almost started calling to me. Every time I walked past a display of Twilight books in Borders, my fingers ached to arch the binding and fan the pages. I skimmed the paragraphs quickly, until one day, I purchased a copy of the first book. That was it. I was hooked. I finished the entire series (there are four books total) in a week. I did nothing but immerse myself in the love that is Edward and Bella. I couldn't wait to read on. I didn't even turn on my computer for a week. I read every chance I got during the day, and I would stay up late into the night curled up on the couch. My friends couldn't find me because I wasn't answering my phone. I was in Forks, at Edward's house, looking in on him and Bella.

Stephenie Meyer had me so tangled in the love between her two main characters that I had to tear myself away from the books to come back to reality. Stephenie created a wonderful world. Her writing isn't top notch by any means, and I really had to put my college degrees on the back burner to get through the books. They're an easy read. You could easily finish the first book in a few hours.

Nonetheless, Edward Cullen is dreamy. And the phenomena that is Twilight is huge. The New Moon movie, which is the second book in the saga, is due out in November of this year. Seeing a sneak peek of the trailer at the MTV Movie Awards was heaven for me last night. I can tell it already looks like it's going to be a hundred times better than the first movie, because, lets be serious...the first movie was terrible acting for the most part.

I am not ashamed to call myself a fan of the series. It's in no way as good as Harry Potter, but it has caused quite a stir in the entertainment field.

Call me what you will. A Twilight fan, a Twilight mom, A TwiHard....whatever. I'm in too deep to get out. And I can't wait to see how Summit Entertainment handles the next two movies.

Share your Twilight commentary....I'd be delighted to know if you're a fan or not.

My Writing Journey

2009-06-01T13:16:00.003-04:00

"Every great and original writer, in proportion as he is great or original, must himself create the taste by which he is to be relished."

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I started my writing journey when I was very young. My mother told me I doodled on everything when I was small. Receiving notebooks, journals, books, and pens as gifts has always been exciting for me. I can't wait to get home and start filling them up with the ideas and scenes in my head. I carry journals with me everywhere. And I must admit, I can waste away hours at a bookstore....sometimes half of my day is absorbed in a bookstore sipping on a latte. It's an extreme pleasure of mine, books and writing.

I write everything down. From grocery lists to one liners that catch my eye, everything goes into a notebook. Sometimes I write nonsense things down like names I like, or colors. If it tickles my inner muse, it gets recorded. Period.

Naturally, this means I call myself a writer. I do this not just because I have been published in magazines and literary journals, but because writing keeps me sane. Lord Byron said it best, "If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad."

I write whenever I can. In the early morning, at my son's nap time, and late into the evening (if I can stay up that late). I don't always plan what I'm going to write, or what direction I want my stories or articles to go in. I have poetry yearning to be published and short stories that scream for a book's binding. Nameless characters and pretty places that long to be lived in.

I am called to write by neurological tendencies. I don't know how else to express myself. What I do know is that Byron, Poe, Nabokov and I would have been fantastic friends. I'm in love with their writing styles and word choice. I try like hell to learn from them daily. I don't want to mimic them or their writing abilities, but I do want to become as versed as they were. Sometimes when I read their works, I have to stop and literally savior and marinate in their style. There's a pull from somewhere inside me that refuses to allow me to go on unless I digest their depictions. I try to understand why their writing flows so freely and melodious, then I attempt to create the same in my writing.

Like Coleridge states in the above quote, every writer must create their own voice. How do you want your readers to perceive you, how do you want them to remember you? Some may disagree with me, but I don't believe that great writers are made, I believe they're born. Either you know how to write or you don't. Taking English as my major in college, didn't make me a writer, nor did it teach me how to write. It made me a better writer. You see, I was already a writer going into it. Putting words down on a page so that they grab a reader's attention and make them want to read more, was something I had been doing for years prior to enrolling in college. It's the same reason why those that have a knack for concoctions chose chemistry and the sciences as their major. It's something that they are already good at and they want to hone in their strengths.

As a writer, you create your own voice. And it's this personal voice that comes through in ones writing regardless if you are allowing it to or not. It owns you, you don't own it.

For anyone that is truly a writer at their core, you have to write or you crumble.

Please share your writing journey, I'd love to get lost in your world for a moment.

The Strength of a Mother

2009-05-31T11:38:00.002-04:00

"Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate." -- Charlotte Gray

Since becoming a mother, the above quote rings true with me, and with lots of mothers I'm sure. I was a lot colder, unforgiving, proud, and stubborn as a person before becoming a mother. A crying child had almost no affect on me. Any mother, aside from my own, wasn't interesting to me. I didn't want to hear their problems, or screaming children, or the amount of long hours that they put into their day. Quite simply, I wasn't interested because I didn'tunderstand them. I didn't understand what it took to be a mom. And therefore, their trials and tribulations didn't hold my attention.

I can pinpoint when not only my attitude towards mothers changed, but also when my compassion for a mother came to the forefront. It was when I found out I was going to become a mother myself. To say that my life changed when reading the pregnancy test would be an understatement. Seeing two lines on a stick meant that I was going to become someone's world. Their ENTIRE world. I would be responsible for this person in every way. Every move I made would be analyzed by someone.

During the nine months of my pregnancy, I became instantly aware that I was much more emotional. I cared so much more for strangers' children. I would see other moms out with their kids and if I witnessed a bruised knee, tears welled up in my eyes. The rush of these new emotions scared me, I'm not going to lie. If I was this emotional being pregnant, I couldn't even imagine where my tears would gather once I delivered my child.

The day came, however, when I did deliver my son. I cried the whole day. This being my first pregnancy and delivery, you can imagine that I was scared...and that too is an understatement. I cried because I was scared, because I didn't know what to expect, and because I knew there was no going back. This was it. I was about to deliver life. A life that I made from scratch. From his eyebrows to his toenails. I made a human being inside me. Amazing. I still can't really believe I did it...or that it's done daily by women everywhere. The whole "two cells turn into a child" thing still baffles me.

Once I settled into the daily routine of being a mother, although it's anything BUT routine, I noticed that I was still emotional about children, especially infants. They're so utterly helpless and dependant on their caregiver that anytime I heard about a child abuse story or an abandoned infant, it just about stopped me dead in my tracks. I cried, I said "how could anyone hurt a child", it bothered me immensely and still does.

I have grown more compassionate to children and mothers. I now understand what a mother's job is all about, how hard it is to be a mom, how grueling and at the same time rewarding the process is. I feel for moms and children everyday. My tears and I have become friends instead of strangers now because I am so emotional since becoming a mother.

What Charlotte Gray says in the above quote is 100% true. Once you become a mother to your own child, you are now a mother to everyone's child. And until you experience motherhood firsthand, you will never be able to understand the bond that forges between a mother and child. It's so intense and so unwavering, that to describe it as unbreakable is even an understatement.

It's so much more than that. It's spiritual, metaphysical, and down right otherworldly. There are no words to depict the love between a mother and child. To say there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for my son doesn't even begin to bring the statement to life. I would kill, lie, cheat, and steal for my son in any way that I needed to. I am a normal person in every day life, but make me have to flex my mothering and I, like all moms, become supernatural.

We can take on the world and anything that is thrown at us. We are the strongest and most important women in the world. We are mothers to every child. And I firmly believe that there is nothing in this world that can rise above that.

Please, share your comments and stories. Hearing what other parents have to say is empowering to all mothers.

Why Horrible Sanity You Ask?

2009-05-30T15:13:00.007-04:00

I frequently receive a lot of inquiries on how I came to name my blog Horrible Sanity. So much so, that I thought it would be beneficial to my readers if I added a blog post explaining exactly where, how, and why I chose that name for my blog.

I am a HUGE Edgar Allan Poe fan. My copy of his complete works is tattered, weathered, and downright needs to be replaced. But I don’t care. I cart it around everywhere I go. I just never know when I’m going to be able to grab a free minute to read a few pages in between writing and being a mother to my three year old. It’s sort of like an American Express card to me, I never leave home without it.

With that being said, there is a line in a letter that Mr. Poe uses and goes as so: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” Brilliant huh? I think so. From the moment I read the line, I fell in love with it. I feel that the words describe my life at times. Being a mother and a writer is pure insanity, I’m sure those in the same boat as I would agree. Both need almost equal attention (the mother part winning out obviously) to grow and develop into something.

I have been writing longer than I have been a mother. My son is three, and my writing career started when I was small. I was always writing something. A poem, a short story, notes, doodles, et cetera. English was my favorite subject throughout school and eventually when I reached college, choosing my major wasn’t hard at all. Writing comes naturally to me. As does editing. The two go hand in hand. If you can write well, then chances are, you can revise and edit any writing piece just as good.

Naturally, when I became a mother, my writing career faulted a little. My priorities were no longer putting pen to paper, I now had to mother. The part of me that wrote continuously really didn’t understand the abrupt change. Ideas swirled around inside my head, except now, I had an entire new subject to consider. Motherhood. I never attempted to write on the subject before because I knew I couldn’t even remotely grasp what it meant to be a mother until I actually became one myself.

Like most new moms, simply trying to get the hang of being a mother is enough to make anyone insane, let alone trying to find time to keep up a house and a career. For the first few months, I was too exhausted to do anything else but mother and sleep. I then found that I could write at nap times and at night. And eventually, as my son grew, we settled into a schedule and I was able to correctly juggle being a mom and a writer.

Horrible Sanity. Two words that are so powerful in my world. I thought it was a perfect name for my personal blog. Sometimes insanity seems the lesser evil to me. I’ve always thought in color rather than black and white. However, sanity can be so inviting at times as well. And horrible sanity, well that’s just the perfect mix for me. The split directly down the middle. I can allow myself to be sane (the mother part) and insane (the writer part) when I need a change from the norm. Creating my own world from the riddles that live in my head.

Welcome to my world. It’s called Horrible Sanity. Thanks Mr. Poe, for finding the words to describe an otherwise nameless existence.

Color Therapy

2009-05-28T20:07:00.003-04:00

"Mere color, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand ways" -Oscar Wilde-

Color. Think of it as you will...a color on a paint brush, a flower, a shirt, a candle, a picture, whatever comes to your mind first when you think of color.

I like how Wilde points out that color in it rawest form can mean more to one person than the Mona Lisa means to the world. Just a dot of red on a blank canvas can have infinite meaning to someone.

I'm sure for those of you that are artists, either you've heard that quote before or you're familiar with the way virginized color can excite the senses.

Don't get me wrong, I know the results of color studies say that green is calming and whatnot. But its never dawned on me to really study a color when it isn't attached to an object or a meaning.

I normally allow color to take me on a renewal journey. When I need inspiration I turn to color. Whether it be that I go outside, or I go to the park, sometimes even a museum. I allow for the colors to mix with my senses and my writing instincts look to grab a pen.

If I've had a stressful day, I'll relax on my couch and light purple candles, because for me, I find purple to be calming.

I guess that's what Wilde is getting at. Different colors mean different things to different people. Share your story...what color invokes your senses?

Are You A Morning or Night Person?

2009-05-27T20:34:00.005-04:00

Question of the day: Are you a morning or night person?

I've been both. Allow me to explain.

Before becoming a mother, I lived life in the second shift. I was a complete night owl. While I was never much for the bar and club scene, I worked the second shift, went to the gym at night, and reserved the dark for my writing and editing.

I had a second shift job for many years. I would get out of work anywhere between 9 or 10 p.m., then I would head over to the gym and workout till 11 or 12. I would go home, shower, and be up until 3 a.m. easily. I would sleep until noon or so, sometimes later, then I would get ready for work and do it all over again. I had no problems with the night, and I was really productive in the wee hours of the morning.

Once I became a mother, that all changed obviously. Staying up till 3 a.m. was totally out of the question. So, naturally, I adapted. I started going to bed early...really early. It took me some time to realize that trying to get work done with a child at home was damn near impossible. Being the analyzer that I am, I said "how can I make this work?" I needed to be able to be a good mother to my son as well as a good writer/editor to my clients. Both are equally important, and I needed to find a middle ground. So I did just that. I started setting my alarm earlier and earlier to be up before my son. One day it was one hour earlier, enough time for me to make a pot of coffee and THOROUGHLY enjoy it. The next few days it was a couple of hours earlier. I did this until I realized that getting up around 5:30 - 6:00 a.m. worked the best for me. It gave me a good, solid start on my day, my work, my schedule, my clients, my writing, and my editing. Oh...and some time to sip my coffee slowly...that's super important.

Quiet simply, I adapted. I found what not only worked best for my son and myself, but also what worked best for my clients.

Please share your thoughts. I'd love to learn some of your morning bird or night owl techniques.

Boy or Girl?

2009-05-26T19:16:00.002-04:00

If you could choose the sex of your baby, would you choose a boy or a girl?

Considering I have only one child and he's the most handsome little boy you will ever meet, I can only speak from my experiences raising a boy. I'd like to be honest with you from the get go. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a daughter. I felt that I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. For starters I was a girl, so that gave me a one up already on raising one. And secondly, I really wanted the mother - daughter bond that I have with my mother.

Needless to say, that when I found out I was having a boy, I wasn't so happy. I know...terrible thing to say. But it's the truth, and I see no reason to lie. My family members were thrilled with whatever the sex because the baby was healthy. And my son's father was ecstatic because the last thing he wanted to do was raise a little girl. He's a man's man. He enjoys getting dirty, skinned knees and elbows, changing his own oil, and riding dirt bikes into the wee hours. For him, a son would be perfect.

But for me...it was the other way around. I wanted the little princess to dress up, to have tea parties with, to build a bear with, and shop for the latest shoes. I wanted to make a miniture me. There I said it.

She would have long, straight, brown hair with huge chestnut brown eyes. Eyelashes that stretched for miles, and a personality that would make even Madonna get on her knees and pray. She was going to be a leader no doubt. The next J.K. Rowling when it came down to creating and writing a magical world. Even Cinderella would envy her. That was the little girl I planned on having.

Instead, however, I pushed out a seven pound boy. He cried for twenty minutes straight. The nurses were laughing at his cute set of lungs. When I looked into my son's eyes, it was then I realized that I had a boy for a reason. What that exact reason is, boils down to science, I know. But metaphysically speaking, I believe I had a son to ground me.

Someone had to knock the perfect little girl image from my foresight. I had to come down to reality. No one has the perfect child. And it's impossible to mold them into one parents...in case you were wondering. I took one look at this angelic child and it was clear that I had worried over raising a son for nothing. It didn't matter the sex of my child. I was a mother to the most important person ever. No one in this world mattered to me more than my child. Boy or girl...I was a mother and it felt wonderful.

Maybe my little girl will come one day, who knows. And I know that I have a mountain in front of me trying to raise a man. But I wouldn't have it any other way. When my son calls me mommy and runs into my arms, that's a feeling that can't be described. I've tried to put it into words, and I can't.

And hey...I take my son shopping with me. He just prefers to take along a few Matchbox cars rather than a Barbie. No biggie.

Please share your mothering stories, whether you're raising a boy, girl, or both. I'd love to hear your side.

Mothering: Like Your Mom?

2009-05-25T20:12:00.001-04:00

While I was cruising the internet, I came across a parenting blog that asked the question, "Will you be the kind of mother your mother was or will you be different?" I allowed my eyes to linger on the question for a few minutes, let the ideas roll around inside my head, then immediately decided I needed to blog about my response.

I know this question can go many ways, and there is possibility for a huge debate/discussion on the topic. So it may be beneficial to break this question up into a few blog posts, but we'll see based on the responses.

My relationship with my mother is a close-knit one. We get along great, always have. She gave me everything I could ever want growing up, allowed me to find myself when I was going through my teenage years, and later when I became a mother, she is the best grandmother I (and my son) could ever ask for. So for me to answer the "what kind of mother will I be" question, my answer is simple: I hope to be exactly the kind of mother my mother was.

Now that I have sat and dwelled on my answer, if I replay instances in my head dealing with my son, I can see that I reacted like my mother did when I was small. Why did I do that? Because I couldn't help it really. I am a product of her mothering. Naturally, when I chose the role as mother, my instincts leaned towards mothering like my mother did. I had no one else in my life to learn how to mother from except for my mother.

Those of you that are not close to your mothers will probably try to mother the exact opposite than the way you were mothered. Although I'm certain that if you look at the way you mother, there will be similarities somewhere.

Please share your thoughts and experiences on how alike or dislike your mothering skills are from your own mother's.

What's Your Favorite Book?

2009-05-24T08:24:00.004-04:00

What's your favorite book?

Seems like an easy question to answer don't you think? Try it. Be honest. There's a LOT of books out there and no one has read them all. So how can you be sure that's your favorite book? A-ha...I just made it a hard question to answer didn't I? Maybe not.

In any case, allow me to tell you my answer to the question. My favorite book is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. If you haven't yet read Lolita, then I highly recommend the book. Sure, its theme maybe a little taboo, but there's no denying the book is genius really.

Before you can understand and enjoy Lolita, I think it's prudent that you learn about the author himself, and try to see why and how a man could write such a genius novel. If you've ever read anything by the author, it's easy to see that he has a way with words. For starters, he was fluent in three languages. He was an avid chess player. He wrote everything in longhand. He couldn't type and therefore dismissed typewriters. (I think that having to write everything out is therapeutic to a writer and I too still use longhand to record articles, journal entries, and things of the like.) He taught English at ivy leagues such as Wellesley and Cornell. Nabokov was also a lepidopterist and worked at a zoologist museum at Harvard.

Lolita was published in 1955, banned from Paris from 1956-1958, and never fully published in the U.K. or America until 1958. Since its publication, Lolita remains one of the most controversial novels of the 20th century. Simply fascinating as far as I'm concerned.

Lolita is one of those books that requires you to think. When you read it for the first couple of times, have a dictionary by your side. Regardless of where you were educated or how many graduate degrees you have, your going to need a collegiate dictionary. Period. However, please don't let this deter you from reading and enjoying the book. It simply means the book is meant to be savored and digested, not just skimmed.

The word choice and sentence structure is amazing. Words rhyme, phrases unite and link back, and alliteration lingers on the tongue long after you've moved past the passage. I would have loved to meet Nabokov to see if he talked as mellifluously as he wrote. I'd love to be able to write like him.

Some authors simply have a way with words. The fact that he was fluent in three foreign languages had a lot to do with the way he delivered his depictions I'm sure. Like Edgar Allan Poe sometimes did, Nabokov would create brand new words simply to fit into his writing if he couldn't find one he liked.

If you haven't read Lolita, I encourage you to buy a copy. Don't bother borrowing it from the library. Buy it. It's really THAT good of a novel that you'll want to reread it several times and even allow it a home on your bookshelf.

What's your favorite book? Please share, I'd be delighted to know.

You Are Your Biggest Fan

2009-05-22T08:20:00.009-04:00

I see many new freelancers ask this question either to myself, or on other freelancing websites. "What is the best way to get to know other freelancers?" Being a fellow freelance writer and editor, I feel it my civic duty to other writers out there, be it that you're brand new or you've been around the block as a writer, to provide you with some ways that I was able to get my writing career off the ground.

First off, I find it important to mention that these tips will come in handy for any type of freelancer, not just writers. If you're a graphic designer, a software engineer, a computer programmer, et cetera. Think of the tips as starting points for anyone wanting to break into the freelancing world.

1.) RUB ELBOWS: Ahhh....the old elbow rub. This is either super easy or super intimidating for some. Those people that are extroverts such as myself, have no problem getting their name out there. But those that are introverts, well, you tend to be shy and want to hide in your shell. You're going to have to get over that, and fast. Granted, a lot, if not all, of your freelancing career can and will be done online, but that doesn't mean that you can hide behind your ergonomic chair forever.

Rubbing elbows means just that. Getting yourself known. Attend writers conferences, photography workshops, library events, etc. Just because you want to be a freelance writer and not a graphic designer doesn't mean that you should ignore the designer market. If a client calls up their friend, Mr. Graphic Designer, and tells him that they need an awesome six hundred word article to accompany that breathtaking picture of Niagara Falls that he took last weekend, who do you think Mr. Designer is going to turn to? Yep, you guessed it, his freelance writing friends. So don't dismiss fellow freelancers just because they may not be in your niche. Think of your elbows as the paint brushes that should be spread across the ENTIRE freelancing community canvas. And don't forget to pick bright colors, for they attract more attention.

2.) Social Networking: I'm sure most of you are already members of some of the social networking sites. But if you're not, then you need to be, and fast. No one has the ability to deny that sites like LinkedIn and Twitter can take your business to new heights. I've seen it personally with Twitter. The more I tweet my blog and website, the more hits it gets. Simple move right? Right. Now go sign up for all the social networking sites that you can click your mouse on. And hurry. Some other freelancer is doing just that right now, and taking your could-be customers. So get a move on.

3.) Business cards: I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Why do I need business cards, I never leave my house. I find all of my work online." And others are thinking "Geesh, how can you NOT have business cards?"

Business cards are your key to any lock. Remember that. Put them up at your local bank, library, convention centers, super markets, ANYWHERE. You never know when a fellow publisher, writer, or photographer will see that you are a freelance writer and need your services. If you don't have business cards, then as soon as you are done reading this post, Google business cards and get to work. It's going to take you some time to pick out the appropriate colors, fonts, and designs, so allow room to play in your schedule. Make sure that, if you're a first time business card buyer, that you also purchase a card holder so that you can carry your business cards in a professional fashion rather than wrapping them in a rubber band and throwing them in your back pocket. Don't laugh, I know many a people that do just that. Then they give me their business card with dog eared edges and the half bend that only a back pocket can make. "No thanks, keep your card" is what I want to say. But I take it and toss it in the nearest trash receptacle because I can't take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously.

Remember my fellow freelancers, you are your biggest fan. If you don't think your awesome, then no one else will. So be an extrovert and let yourself shake a few hands and hand out a few cards. Make friends with fellow freelancers. And don't forget to let me know how you make out on your road to stardom. I'm here to help if you need it. Also, if you've found other ways that have helped your freelance career, please comment on this post so that everyone can reap the benefits of more clients.

Guest Blogger Day

2009-05-21T07:56:00.002-04:00

Today is guest blogger day. I am a part of Michelle Rafter's May blogathon and Michelle thought making May 21 guest blogger day would be a nice touch, and I agree.

For my guest blogger I have Marilyn McClellan. We met during the blogathon. She wrote me a very sweet email from my site, explaining how she thought I was her daughter for a second because we had many similarities (a child the same age, a blog, her daughter is also an editor). I appreciated the fact that Marilyn took the time to write me an email to tell me that story and also that she enjoyed my blog. Needless to say, when it was time to pick a guest blogger, my choice wasn't hard at all.

Without further adeu, here is the bio that Marilyn wrote about herself. Please do visit her blog, she blogs from her heart and it's very warming to read.

Marilyn writes:

How nice of Danielle to invite me onto her blog for the day. I began my blog www.marilynmcclellan.com/blog while traveling to Singapore shortly after my husband died. It was a welcome diversion during a stressful time. I returned home to the Pacific Northwest and lost interest until I began a major remodel of my house in 2007. My blog gave me a chance to chronicle the adventure and take friends and family along on the transformation of my century old house. My designer began showing the blog to her clients and even my contractor admitted to reading it.

Blogs are such a deceptive curiosity. They feel so solitary during the writing. Then, someone I hardly know will say, “Oh, I know all about that. I read your blog.”

I’m a mother and a grandmother who was carried into cyber space by my husband and children. I ‘m a retired school counselor but my career has taken on a second life as a writer of nonfiction children’s books. I teach at our local community college and supervise counseling interns. I love crossword puzzles and British mysteries, and I’m fortunate to live in a beautiful town overlooking the Puget Sound.

Thank you Marilyn for being my guest today. It's been a pleasure getting to know you.

Please head over to Marilyn's blog. I am a guest on her blog today.

Willy Wonka

2009-05-20T19:12:00.004-04:00

I happened to see mention of Willy Wonka today in my web surfing and I'll tell you, it stuck in my head all day. Naturally, when I sat down to write this post, the first thing that I thought of to write on was Willy Wonka.

Who wouldn't want to be Willy really? He has a cool name, a cool factory, and all the candy a person could ever want. He has awesome taste in clothes, and while he can be abnormal at times, for the most part he can hold good conversation.

Wonka is a cool character in my book. Both the original movie with Gene Wilder was good as well as the newer version with Johnny Depp. I'd love to have a chocolate waterfall to drink from whenever the mood strikes.

And Dahl's characters are infamous. Veruca Salt bore a band in the early nineties named after it, oompa-loopas are iconic really, and who doesn't secretly get excited opening a Wonka Bar in hopes of finding a golden ticket?

The book itself is delicious really. Dahl's writing both inspires and creates writers even today. My son is only three and already I've read him two of Roald Dahl's books (Willy Wonka and James and the Giant Peach).

Wonka is timeless. And the oompa loompas always have good advice. See below.

"What do you get from a glut of TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or can you just not bear to look?"

A Writer's Insanity

2009-05-19T13:56:00.005-04:00

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon

I was looking over some writing quotes that I have listed on my personal website and this one by Graycie Harmon caught my eye. How true it is though, no? I think so.

I think writers in general are a walking insane asylum most of the time. I know for me, ideas are constantly getting in line inside my head in hopes of coming out in the form of words. Characters are hungry for the ink that will bring them to life. Even the mediocre ideas and story lines are eager for stardom. You don't have to be a published author to have stacks and stacks of material. If you write at all, for pleasure or business, you're a writer.

Like I have mentioned in some of my previous postings, I have been writing SOMETHING ever since I was small, be it poetry or short stories, articles or drawings. I was always producing filled notebooks and journals. Bookstores and hole in the wall coffee shops became my second homes.

I know lots of writers who are they same way. They have to write almost daily or they feel like something is missing. Writing is a healthy outlet for all, so is reading. And even if you're not a lover of literature, reading a book can be an extremely calming sensation.

Being in charge of your own insane asylum has its perks as well as its downfalls. It's up to you as the writer to decide which direction your writing can and will take you in if you believe in yourself.

And hey, if all else fails, a padded room doesn't sound all THAT bad. I hear that padded walls make great pillows.

Cat Fights

2009-05-18T19:32:00.003-04:00

I read an interesting article on momlogic today dealing with bully's at work, and how most of them are female. Find the article here.

I've had both male and female bosses and personally, I'd prefer to work for a male boss. In my experience, guys seem to let things roll of their back more and not take things too personally. Women rule with their emotions and have a tendency to hold grudges. Again, this is MY opinion. I'm not saying this is true in all cases. I know some men who who worse than women when it comes to tears.

Females by nature are catty as far I'm concerned. I can't tell you how many times I've seen women look each other up and down and smile in your face one minute just to talk about you the next. I could care less about what people think of me and therefore I've personally never had a problem working with women, I would just prefer to work under a man.

Tell me your thoughts, both on the article at momlogic and your experiences working for both female and male bosses. Comments are both encouraged and appreciated.

A Parent's Devotion

2009-05-17T17:09:00.004-04:00

I spend a lot of time on the parenting blog of the New York Times website because, hey, I'm a parent. Today I came across this post entitled Mother Punches Teacher. It's about a mother who punched a teacher for supposedly choking her five year old son. After the principal sat down with both parent and teacher, the teacher denied choking the boy but admitted to shaking him, the mother then right hooked the teacher on his head.

"What would I have done if I were in that situation" I asked myself. After much deliberation on my part, my answer is still not clear. I guess I would have to BE in that situation before I pass judgement on either party. What I can answer however, is the fact that I'm a quick reactor. I tend not to think of the consequences of my actions. I do as my emotions tell me to. Perhaps the mother involved in this dispute was the same way.

Since becoming a parent, I feel an extremely strong pull to always defend my son. I'm always making sure to keep him out of harms way so that I won't ever have to feel like I have to defend him physically. But, I can tell you, that I wouldn't hesitate to do so. Any good mother knows...you don't disrespect someone else's children. No matter how bad they're acting up, you don't ever discipline someone else's child. Ever. Period.

I know that schools have it hard when it comes to disciplining kids. You're not allowed to physically restrain them or put a hand to them. With some kids these days, verbal discipline doesn't always work. The article fails to explain what the child did, but that in no way excuses the fact that the teacher put his hands on someones child. Still, was it right for the mother to put her hands on the teacher?

I don't believe violence solves anything, however, I do believe in standing up for your child. It is your right as a parent to ensure your child's safety. And who knows what really happened between the teacher and child. The child says the teacher choked him, but the teacher claims he shook the child. Either way, bodily harm could have come to the child. Lets not even go there with all the neurological harm that can come from shaking a child.

Ok...I'm ready for the comments...let them fly moms. :)

A Writer's Worth

2009-05-16T16:09:00.011-04:00

Today I came across a blog by Lori Widmer called Words on the Page. Every year on May 15, Lori has declared it Writers Worth Day. 2009 marks the second annual Writers Worth Day. I spent some time on Lori's blog and enjoyed myself. As with any writer, finding a good blog or web page that will help with not only the technique of writing, but also one that will appreciate the value of a good writer is A-OK in my book. Kudos to Lori for creating such a day and blog about just that.

It's kind of coincidental that I came across Lori's blog today, considering I was mulling over my own prices as a writer. If you don't believe in yourself no one else will. You've heard that millions of times walking on the road to adulthood. This simple way of thinking is what gets rich people rich, and makes normal people extraordinary. It's natural to be attracted to positive things, and in turn positive people. Happiness is a drug as far as I'm concerned and people crave it. I steer clear of people who have lots of negativity surrounding them. I don't want to catch any of it. I've always been an upbeat person and I believe that is what turned me into a professional writer and editor. That and years of college, oh, and LOTS of reading and writing.

Like with any drug, if you surround yourself with it 24 hours a day...you're going to become addicted. If you surround yourself with negativity, you're going to become negative yourself. When I say negative, I'm also enveloping everything that comes with it. Mood swings, depression, lack of energy, lying, stealing, et cetera. Granted, all of the aforementioned may not come to pass simply because you're having a bad day. But, have numerous bad days in a row for long periods of time, and the likelihood of becoming negative yourself is simply waiting for you to shake hands with it. And once you invite it in, it's hard to kick it out.

Alas, the same goes for being positive. Surround yourself with positive people, things, feelings, items, writers, et cetera and you can't help but be a positive person. And like I stated before, people CRAVE happiness. They run to it like a kid runs to an ice cream truck. Serenity of the soul is extremely liberating. Knowing what your worth as a writer, opens the flood gates to getting top jobs, becoming friends with top editors, and overall, being paid what your worth.

It's important for me to steer you in the right direction, however. If you know that your writing is mediocre then don't ask for $1 a word. Most people can smell a rat miles away, this includes your clients. Writing is an art. And with all artistic endeavours, you're either good at it or your not. If you want to improve on your writing, my advice is simple...READ. It's not all you can do but it's one of the most important. It seems that people just don't sit down with themselves anymore and read. Reading is and has been one of my favorite activities to do while I'm alone. That doesn't mean going to a drug store and grabbing a Cosmopolitan or Glamour mag. It entails going to Borders and hanging out in the Literature section perhaps, and picking up a classic like Le Morte d'Arthur. Read it slowly and really try and understand WHY Sir Thomas Mallory is canonized even today in high school and college classrooms world wide.

Granted, you don't have to pick up Mallory's book during your Borders visit, you can choose whatever you like. However, I enjoy finding out WHY people and their accomplishments become iconic. So naturally, as a writer and an English major, the classics beckon me constantly. I'm always rereading books to understand why they are considered classic literature.

This can be applied to why the good writers and journalists are getting paid the big bucks and why mediocre writers aren't. Either they're weren't good writers to begin with, or they just don't believe that they are worth more than a residual income. To bring it back to my original point, if you don't believe in yourself then no one else will. Know that if you're a freelance writer (or a writer on any level), chances are you've chosen the profession because you like to write. Take some time to revaluate your worth as a writer. In the process of revaluating your objections on your job, you can't help but revaluate yourself as a writer as well. And that's what Friday was all about. A Writer's Worth.

As always, comments are welcome from any angle.

Organization. It's an art really.

2009-05-15T13:45:00.013-04:00

Being organized is an art as far as I'm concerned. It takes special talent to be that kind of a person. Normal individuals aren't nearly as organized as they should be. Take yourself for example, how many times have you spent ten or more minutes looking for car keys, paperwork, ingredients, cooking utensils, etc? Even though I know where things are in my house, I know I could use more tips for better organizing my belongings.

Here's a short list of tips that I've picked up either from magazines, friends, or web surfing. As always, if you know of any organizing tips that you've found are working for you (and your family) then please share. I don't know of anyone (mother or writer) that couldn't benefit from being more organized.

Lists: Really...this is common sense but for some reason it's one of the hardest organizational techniques to follow. I tend to make lists quite often. But I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten my grocery list at home and have winged it at the market only to return home realizing I forgot about ten items. Notebooks can be a great source of inspiration for writers as well as making awesome scrap paper for jotting things down. After you find what size notebook works for you, buy a few and stick them everywhere, in your car, in your purse, on your night stand. Wherever you think you may need to write something down. Don't laugh...but tuck one away in the bathroom as well. The need for a new bottle of mouthwash or Tums arises just as much as the need for milk while in the kitchen.

Virtual Lists: For those of you who live on your computers and Blackberry's, both come equipped with "To Do" applications. Google has them, Blackberry has a a memo pad, voice recording, and a task application built right into it. If your driving and can't write something down then simply record it and it's there for you to play back or write down in the future.

Dry Erase Boards: I know personally, because I just hit up Staples not too long ago, that they now have dry erase magnets for your fridge, filing cabinets, wherever you need small reminders. I happen to have three dry erase magnets hanging on my fridge as I write this. I use them constantly as "To Do" lists and to remember odd things like what size clothes my friends' kids are in. Best part is, for all you "green" people out there, is there's no waste. You're not throwing any paper away and when you no longer need the current message you have written on them, simply erase them and start anew. Fantastic idea really. I can picture those of you with filing cabinets using them to your advantage. Especially if space is a concern, they're about the size of a Post-It note. Ideal if you don't have the space to hang a normal size dry erase board but still want the convenience of using one.

Post-It Notes: I'd kiss the inventor of these if I could. Quite possibly one of the best things ever invented. Stick them wherever you find necessary and now a days, they come in an array of sizes, shapes, colors, lined or unlined, and even "super sticky". Really, what more could you ask for in terms of becoming organized?

Baskets: Use inexpensive baskets to organize things. If you prefer to shop at Pier 1 and get really pretty ones, then be my guest. I prefer the cheepos from Wal-Mart or Target. With an array of shapes and sizes, baskets make a fantastic organizing tool, and they are fairly decorative as well which is always a plus. Try to keep like things in each basket. For instance, if you're filling the basket with accessories for your bathroom, then keep things that go in the bathroom only. Toothpaste, hair elastics, tooth brushes, mouth wash, hair products, etc. Seems pretty simple right? Then how come more of us don't do it?

For now, that's my short list. As I find more I like, I'll keep us updated. Again, add your two cents at any point...I love finding new ways to organize, and so do my readers.

Guest Blogging = FREE Exposure. Why not do it?

2009-05-14T09:55:00.011-04:00

Just a quick reminder, my fellow readers. I'm always looking for guest bloggers. It would be wonderful if we could be guests on each others blog on the same day. For instance, I'm looking for Fridays to be "Guest Day". You could be a guest on my blog and I would be a guest on your blog.

I feel it's a great way to gain exposure for both blogs and the kind of work you do (free promotion basically). I'm thinking that about a 200 word post describing yourself, your blog, the kind of work you do, how you got into it, and why you chose the profession would be suffice. Obviously whatever else you want to mention (kids, husband, etc) is fine and should be thrown into the bio.

Writers in all genres should be guest blogging weekly as far as I'm concerned. It's a fantastic and FREE way to get your name out there and network with other writers, which is VERY important if you want your writing career to go anywhere. I know some fellow freelancers who think that guest blogging is a waste of time. I'm not sure how any writer could turn down free publicity.

With that being said, please email me (daniellefreelances@gmail.com) and we can talk about helping each other out by guest blogging.

Do you have other free ways of promoting yourself? Please share with my readers and I. We'd love to hear your story.

Heaven in a Cup

2009-05-13T13:56:00.005-04:00

I simply can not get over my love of coffee. As soon as I wake up, I head right over to the coffee maker to get it going. I fancy flavored coffee (rather than flavored cream or shots) so I go with a scoop of hazelnut (not decaf) and a scoop of decaf. This way I'm getting enough caffeine to wake me but not so much that I could paint the next Sistine chapel.

While I'm waiting for my pot to brew, I start thinking of what it is I have to write and/or edit today, and what I will be writing my blog post on as well. Sometimes the two intertwine but mostly they remain separate. As I'm planning in my mind, that beautiful smell of fresh coffee waifs under my nose and I inhale deeply. I literally can't wait to pour my first cup and fix it with a dash of milk and two sugars.

I get up a couple of hours prior to my three year old so that I can have some solitude. I CRAVE being alone with myself. Silence has always been my best friend and it's during the silence that I create all my writing that has filled countless notebooks throughout my life. With my son still asleep, I fix my coffee and head over to the computer to check and answer emails.

I relish every sip of my perfectly flavored masterpiece and swallow slowly. I don't want to rush the calming sensation it gives me. That first cup of hot, fresh coffee in the morning is like an imaginary masseuse giving me a deep, slow back rub. It wakes up my senses and warms my mind. I'll finish my pot of coffee till the last drop, although sometimes I do make extra to cool and have later as iced coffee. But for the most part the pot disappears before my son even rubs the sand from his eyes.

Are you a coffee or tea fan? Tell me how they help you create (or just wake you up in the a.m.). I'd love to hear your story.

Time Out for A Writer's Soul

2009-05-12T13:36:00.005-04:00

When writers write, we need a time out. This can be a quick five minute run to the kitchen for a cup of tea or coffee. It can also mean taking a few hours off from your current assignment to run an errand, go sit outside for some fresh air and inspiration, or taking the entire weekend off to find new ideas to write about. Whatever your preference for your time out is, it's an important part of being a writer.

Taking some time to yourself will not only provide you with new in site into your writing, but it will also refresh your soul so that you AND your writing become one. No, I'm not trying to get spiritual here. I'm simply pointing out that it's good to walk away from the desk once and a while.

Writers are often couped up in their office daily. Whether that office is a huge circular room loaded with bookshelves that touch the ceiling, or it's your laptop on your kitchen table...an office is an office.

I realized the importance of ten minute mini breaks when I started college. Considering that English was my major for both my undergraduate and graduate degrees, you can rest assured that I did LOTS of reading and writing. Those long assignments warranted a break for sure. And after trial and error of alternating long and short breaks, I found that for myself, it was best if I took a ten to fifteen minute break once every hour or hour and a half. Simply to get up, stretch, grab a drink, check email...whatever. Just to get away from my books for a few allowed me to return to them with wider eyes.

Do you have a time out ritual when you write? Tell me about your habits for renewing yourself and your writing. I love learning new styles on how to relax in between writing.

Diaper Rash? Let's Talk

2009-05-11T08:42:00.004-04:00

I've been reading a lot lately on diaper rash. I'm not going looking for articles or anything, they just keep popping up on websites I visit, or alerts I get from my email. I thought it would be helpful to the other mother's out there if I shared my story of how my son has never had a day of diaper rash since he was born almost three years ago.

My secret? The answer for diaper rash sufferer's everywhere? POWDER...and lots of it. When I was pregnant I read every thing having to do with newborns that I could find. I absorbed all the information and baked it into my own "baby-pie". I kept reading that today's moms have gotten away from using powder for fear of health reasons for newborns (research shows that infants inhaling the talc in powder can be harmful for their lungs...more on that in a minute). On the other hand, the benefits of using baby powder in preventing and treating diaper rash greatly outweighed the negatives. So, I decided I would give it a try and see how it worked.

Literally, from the day I birthed my son, I have been using baby powder on his bum. When he was a newborn, I would simply sprinkle the powder onto his entire diaper BEFORE putting the diaper on him. I did this to keep the powder away from his face. And by sprinkling it on the diaper and not him, I didn't have to worry that he was breathing in the talc. As he got older, four months and up, I simply would put the powder directly onto his genitalia WHILE changing his diaper. I've always had a heavy hand when it comes to powder and feel that you can never have enough baby powder on a cute, little poopie...but you may feel like less is more. Experiment on the amounts.

Either way, I have found firsthand that regardless of the amount of baby powder you use, its the best way of preventing diaper rash. Think about yourself. I'm sure some of you use powder on your body daily. You know how well powder keeps you dry and helps prevent rashes....well it does the same for babies. They sit in a diaper twenty four hours a day....imagine having that wet thing rub on your tush without any protection!

Another note worth mentioning. Because my son has never had diaper rash, that means I've never had to buy any creams or ointments for healing diaper rash. This is a HUGE money saver moms! Preventing the problem means spending less money trying to remedy it. You can purchase a decent sized bottle of baby powder at your local dollar store. That's way less that a $5 or $6 dollar tube of diaper rash cream don't you think?

If your a powder user for your baby....tell me your story. If your not...try using baby powder and let me know if you notice a difference in diaper rash.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T09:07:00.004-04:00

Mother's Day. In my opinion, THE single most important day of the year. Every day should be mother's day if you ask me. Mothering is a hard job. It's not just changing diapers, giving baths, making dinner, cleaning the house, etc. There's so much more mental planning and prep work going on that no one sees.

Before I became a mother, and when I was younger, I would toss a few cards and cheap gifts at my mom. Give her a hug and a kiss and wish her "Happy Mother's Day". However, blossoming into adult and mommy hood has given me a new found appreciation for not just my own mom, but mother's everywhere. So selflessly we give ourselves up to better our children. No one really notices that mothers eat last, or go a few extra weeks without that hair cut so that our children can walk around in Uggs rather than no name wanna-be's.

Above all, we want to see our children thrive. And we'll give up anything to give them more than what we had. That often goes unnoticed...or in some instances...it's expected. So...mother's....biological...adoptive...whatever....enjoy your day. Have an extra pancake and cup of coffee that your kids made you this morning. Go get a pedicure AND manicure simply because you DESERVE it.

Enjoy being the most important person in someones life. Recognize that you are and continue to set good examples for your kids to follow. No one loves you and looks up to you more than your children. No one will ever need you to hold them tight more than your kids. Know that when you receive the thousands of hugs and kisses daily (and the attitudes on the bad days) that that is your child's way of saying "I love you and all you do for me mommy".

With warmest wishes....Happy Mother's Day to all the moms. Enjoy your day.

Library or Bookstore?

2009-05-09T16:25:00.004-04:00

Library or bookstore? My answer to the question would be bookstore...and here's why. And, please, don't think me out to be a snotty, spoiled lady....but I adore brand new books. There's something about being the first and only person to crack open that semi-stiff cover. Beautiful, new, crisp, unmarked pages coupled with that brand new book smell. I'm lost immediately within the pages...turning to the next page from the top right corner and gently running my hand down the untouched page. I can't help but want a book to be new.

I first realized my preference for new books in middle school. I loathed getting used text books from the kids before me and seeing their names sloppily written in the space above where I was instructed to print mine. Their mindless doodling and dog-eared pages secretly made my writing hand twitch. This "phobia" continued well into high school and into my college years. I remember very vividly reaching for the new versus used pile of textbooks from my college bookstore. I didn't care about how much money I wasn't saving buying new rather than used. I didn't want to be engrossed in my reading and have to ignore bright pink highlighted passages that someone before me thought may have been important...because..chances are...I knew I wasn't going to find what they thought was important to them important to me.

I read seriously and sedulously. Chewing every word slowly before swallowing and moving onto the next. I mark pages and passages different from the normal person. I created my own editing format that only I can understand. And I also knew that I would keep all my college literature, so that was even more of a reason for me to buy new...when I needed to reference back to those books (which I often do) I would be able to flip to the section I know is important, rather than trying to determine if I highlighted that section or if it was the student prior to me.

Not that I don't go to my local library or used book stores, I do. I utilize the workshops they offer and I network myself as a writer in my community. But I don't check out or buy many used books....I'll browse more often than not. I'll write interesting titles and authors down, then head over to Borders to buy them so I can read them as fast or slow as I want.

You've heard my preference for library versus bookstore. Please share your preference for new or used books. I'd love to hear your story.

A Writer's Notebook

2009-05-08T14:21:00.009-04:00

For some writers of today, the digital age is so overbearing that it's hard to know how we lived BEFORE Blackberry's and laptops. I'm only thirty, but I can remember very clearly not having a cell phone until I was in my late teens. I had a beeper...back when they were cool for "regular" people, not just doctors. I didn't grow up having four computers in my house. In fact, I had zero computers for many years. As kids, we went outside to play. We didn't sit in front of the TV for hours. I built snowmen and volcanos in the sand to occupy my time. Without even knowing it, I had tons of inspiration around me. Just from being outside, my mind was absorbing all the creative forces around me. And that must be why I always carried around a notebook and a pencil. Not a pen. A pencil. Even today, I tend to write more in pencil. I like the fact you can erase what you don't enjoy. You have to cross out if you pen it.

My love of writing grew as I did. Even today I have notebooks, diaries, and journals galore in my house, in my purse, near my bed, and in my car. I fancy ornate covers and big spiral bounds. When I find myself in Borders, I make sure to stock up on the Moleskine journals in every color, shape, and size. I also sometimes prefer tiny blank pocket pads to stick in my jacket. I write everything down. Sometimes it will be a single word that I enjoy the sound of, other times it's full paragraphs of say...someone that I just saw planting flowers. Oh...and quotes. I'm BIG into quotes. That would explain my love of classical literature. The author's of today don't know how to write as eloquently as the author's of say...the sixteenth century (in my opinion).

Nevertheless, the notebook has been a writers' best friend for centurys. Research proves that writing is a healthy outlet for some. Sort of like petting a cat, or throwing brush strokes on an empty canvas. It allows for one to record dreams, goals, and heart strings. And there's nothing wrong with writing down your fears either. Look at your notebook as a legacy for future generations to find and get lost in.

Tell us about your favorite notebook.

Inspiration for Writers

2009-05-07T18:38:00.005-04:00

Ahhhh, my fellow writers. We all need inspiration at one time or another. Some of us more so than others. I'd like to share with you some of my methods for collecting inspiration when I need it.

Scenery: This one is simple. Most of us writer's are trapped inside all day. Shut off your laptop and get up...for starters. Sitting makes you tired anyway. So stand up....stretch....then go outside and take in the greenery, the flowers, the leaves on the trees. Listen intently to the birds chirping, the water running, or the rain falling. Bring your favorite notebook and pen with you. If you're an artist, sketch something. If you're a writer, then take a moment to free write. Write whatever comes to mind. Don't allow for paragraphs or punctuation. Who cares if you have phrases rather than complete sentences. You can correct the writing later. For the time that you're outside...inhale deeply....and let yourself CREATE.

Listen: Again, turn off your computer. Allow yourself to listen to the SILENCE. Personally I love being alone....I revel in solitude. I love going shopping by myself, writing by myself, and going to the movies by myself. I think thats when you know your really happy with yourself when you can be alone and genuinely enjoy your own company. Grab a cup of tea or coffee and just listen to the silence. Have a notebook and pencil by your side and grab it as the creative juices start flowing. You'll be amazed at how a few minutes of alone time can spark new ideas.

Music: It's no secret that music in itself is an inspiration for many. I've yet to meet a person who doesn't find themselves in a creative mood while listening to music. I for one, enjoy classical music. It's one of the most inspiring genre's of music for me, but I'm open to suggestions for others. So, again, turn off your computer...walk away from it. Turn on some music...and maybe this time...you turn on a station that you don't normally listen to...or go to Border's and pick out a CD of an artist you've never heard of. Dare to step outside of your box when it comes to this....I'm sure that you won't be disappointed.

Calling Writers Who Want to be A Guest on My Blog!

2009-05-06T13:41:00.005-04:00

Hello friends. This wonderful idea sprung into my head today and I think it's really going to help out potential writers and bloggers. Every week I'd like to start featuring a guest on my blog. These guests can be writers, bloggers, authors, et cetera on any genre.

If you're interested please either comment below this post, or send me an email through my website and we can get started. I'd like to post the first guest this Friday or Saturday (May 8 or 9). You can tell us about yourself in a short bio (100 words or less), tell us about your blog or website, what you do for a living, how you started, et cetera.

I foresee it as a great way to get your name and website out to the public. I'm happy to say that I've gained lots of readers since joining Michelle Rafter's blogathon and I feel like everyone that I've met has become a part of my "blog-family".

I'm looking forward to meeting new friends and fellow bloggers through this guest spot. Can't wait to hear from YOU.

For All You Freelancers Out There

2009-05-05T18:19:00.006-04:00

In my never ending researching I do for my writing career, I happened to come across a great blog by Michelle Fabio. And I thought it would be a great time to share it with my readers during this blogathon considering that most of us are full or part time writers.

Michelle is a fellow freelance writer who moved to Italy. There's so much great writing information on her blog that I spent a good hour or so on her page and I thought that her special "FREELANCE WRITING WEEK" warranted a mention since it gave me some great ideas. It's always nice to see fellow freelancers helping us out. Some people tend to want to keep their "secret websites" and what not to themselves, but Michelle "opens up" and gives her reader's some great tips.

So grab a cup of coffee and stay a while on Michelle's site. From the looks of it, she puts a lot of work into it.

Do you have any great blogs or writing sites to share with us during the blogathon? A writer never knows everything about writing and should always be improving...so share with us your finds...I promise we all will appreciate it.

Lots of Editing

2009-05-05T09:24:00.008-04:00

Sorry for the delay in posting yesterday. I was super busy with editing jobs that I had no brain left at the end of the day. To make up for the lack of a post yesterday, I will be posting two today. You may laugh, but it really weighed on my conscious yesterday that I didn't post during the blogathon. I signed up for the challenge and I intend to stick to it. Two posts today though...should make up for it....that's at least what I'm telling myself anyway.

I got to add some editing jobs to my portfolio yesterday which really excited me. I'm sure all you writer's out there, no matter how long you've been at your craft, still get excited to add new clients to your portfolio. It renews my sense of worth as a writer and editor, and it makes my long hours as a writer worthwhile.

Have any of you recently added new clients to your list? Tell us about it.

Thank Goodness for Bookstores

2009-05-03T19:42:00.007-04:00

My weekend flew by. It was all about errands. I hit the super market, Borders, and a few other stops. I don't know about you, but every time I go to a bookstore I get lost for hours. I was in Borders for three hours today and it felt like a half an hour. I start off in the Literature section. I gaze at my favorite classic titles lovingly. Lolita, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Shakespeare, Poe, Emerson, Whitman, and Lewis Carroll...just to name a few. Then I allow my eyes to graze over new titles and covers I've never seen and when one (or a few) catches my eye, my fingers strum through the pages. And more often than not, I add it to my basket. It finds a new home on my coffee table for a couple of weeks until I finish it then it accepts it's permanent home on my bookcase until I chose to lend it out to friends or reread it.

From the Literature section I then stroll over to the Reference section to find the writer's instructional books. I'll grab one or two and then head over to the magazine section. Chose a few favorite literary journals and make my way to the cafe. Order my favorite beverage then find the biggest leather chair I can and get lost in the lines of my book choices. Sometimes I purchase the mags but mostly (to save a few bucks) I'll write down the website, if I don't already know it, and favorite the web page to reference in the future. Same goes for the writing books. I do purchase some but mostly I'll jot things down and add them to my writing journals.

And before I know it....my afternoon is shot. Honestly I enjoy my bookstore time and I prefer to go alone. It's a refuel for my soul. It's important to renew yourself weekly I think. Whether it's a steaming hot bath with a tall glass of red wine or a couple hours at a bookstore, finding yourself BY YOURSELF is revitalizing. Try it sometime.

I Love Being A Mother...Even A Single One

2009-05-02T20:03:00.007-04:00

I've never blogged about how much I adore being a mother. Now that I have gathered some readers (thanks to the blogathon I'm a part of) I feel it's time to open up about my self some so that my reader's can get to know me on more of a personal level.

First off, allow me to tell you about my son. He is turning three the end of July. His name is Anthony...not Tony...I don't enjoy nicknames all that much. He is a spitting image of me and I'm happy about that. I remember being pregnant with him and his father and I would go back and forth about who we thought he would look like. No one ever "won" of course. I would always say he was going to come out looking like me and Eric would say he was going to come out looking like him. When comparing my baby picture and my sons, you can't tell us apart.

I enjoy gazing at my child and I do it often. I catch myself staring at him while we're sitting together, or when he falls asleep. And I mean STARING. Usually Anthony catches me and gives me the "Mom...why are you staring at me?". And, of course, for you moms with toddler boys out there....their speech isn't always clear at two and a half...so basically I can understand him clearly but no one else (other than immediate family) can. I love the soft curve of his face, his big, wide eyes. And his mile long eyelashes which are as black as night. Girls would kill to have such soft, full lashes....trust me...I know. His cute little fingers and toes which, by the way, are an exact replica of his father's hands and feet. But I'll have you know that my son's beautiful, soft, full, chestnut brown hair came from me (thank you very much).

I love hearing him call me "mom", "ma", and "mommy" in that mellifluous little voice of his. And the way he hugs me so tight and gives me those sloppy, drool-filled, kisses of his. I'm sure all mothers would agree that we have to fight back tears of overwhelming love when we look into our children's eyes. There really is nothing like being a mother. I'm not sure how I lived my life before finding out that I was pregnant. I remember very clearly the day I took the home pregnancy test and realized in a nano-second that my life was about to change.

From that instant on, my entire being changed. I thought about my son from that very second I knew I was making him. I was scared and nervous. I knew my life would change, obviously, but not to what extent. And when I heard my newborn son cry for the first time and I looked lovingly at his tiny face when the nurses handed him to me, I knew that I would never love anything more in my entire life. All doubts and fears that I had about what kind of mother I would be drifted away to the place all fears go when you conquer them (wherever that may be). I was a mother from the moment of conception and I'm so happy Anthony chose me for his mother.

I am a thirty year old single mother. Eric and I are no longer together but he sees his son everyday and he's a wonderful father to Anthony. We don't fight or bicker or say mean things about each other. We respect each other as Anthony's parents because it isn't about us...it's about something MUCH more important...our child. Sure, we have disagreements, but what parent's don't? We don't love each other in the romantic sense anymore but we do love each other (as I'm sure parents can understand) for creating such a beautiful little soul together.

It's hard being a single mother, I'm not going to lie. But it's much more rewarding than hard. I wouldn't turn back the hands of time for anything. Anthony has shown me so much about myself and about life. He is an angel. And I couldn't be more proud to be his mother.

May Blogathon...Join Us!!

2009-05-02T11:41:00.006-04:00

I have decided to partake in a blogathon for the month of May. There are no rules, per say. You just have to write at least one post per day on your blog. This post can be about any topic and can be whatever length you choose. I happened to have come across Michelle Rafter’s blogathon post via my Google alerts and was delighted to join in. From what I’ve read on Michelle’s site, blogger’s from all genre’s take part and learn a great deal about just what blogging daily can do for your blog traffic….your website…etc.

For some of you reading this, this may be a challenge you wish to make personal rather than public. Perhaps you have a blog about your family and you blog about personal matters and dont want the whole word to know. That's just fine. May I suggest you then take the blogathon challenge in your own private way. Stick to the main rule (blogging daily about anything) and see where daily writing will take you. I’m sure all of us that are participating in this years blogathon will gain something from it.

As a full time freelance writer/editor myself, I write daily already. I don’t, however, keep up to date with my blog. I tend to write blog posts when I have time….or when a thought strikes me. As I’m sure you readers can see from the few posts my Horrible Sanity (if there’s any Edgar Allan Poe fans out there…you’ll get the title) blog has….they are completely random and do not at all follow any type of structure. So I’m happy to be a part of this challenge. I think, for me, it’s a challenge in a variety of ways. A mental challenge….in that I have to commit daily to updating my blog….a physical challenge….in that I have to schedule it in to my life and actually do it….and in some ways a personal challenge….I tend to be somewhat of a procrastinator at times. So committing to blogging daily for a month is a personal goal for me.

I’m looking forward to this blogathon. And I hope those that are also participating are as well. Good luck fellow bloggers in our challenge. And may the force be with you.

Earth Day: Going Green in Your Kitchen

2009-04-22T13:39:00.004-04:00

In honor of Earth Day, I've decided to supply you with a post about cleaning items in your kitchen WITH items in your kitchen...get me? Most of you will probably have the majority of these items on hand in your cabinets making it super easy to get into the habit of being a little more greener.

Got Baking soda?: To combat tough grease stains, dip a moist stiff-bristled brush in some Arm & Hammer baking soda and scrub away.

Got a Lemon?: To bleach stains from tomato soup and other acidic foods on dishwasher-safe items, rub lemon juice on the spots, let dry in a sunny place, then wash as usual.

Stained cups? No Problem. Use lemon: To bleach stains from tomato soup and other acidic foods on dishwasher-safe items, rub lemon juice on the spots, let dry in a sunny place, then wash as usual.

Glasses have hard water stains? Vinegar: For spotless hand-washed glasses, add 1 cup vinegar to the rinse water.

Tough stains on your counter tops or pots? Good ole' table salt: Salt won’t scratch the way a scouring pad can. To get out stubborn stains, add some salt for extra abrasion and scrub.

Dishwasher smelly or stained? Borax: If the machine has a distinct odor, sprinkle borax in the bottom, let it sit overnight, then wipe down with a damp sponge. No need to rinse; just run the next load.

Vinegar: To disinfect the interior of the machine, pour 1/2 cup vinegar into the reservoir and run an empty cycle. Or place a small bowl filled with vinegar on the bottom rack and run an empty cycle.

I'm sure there are some other's that I missed...post some comments....let myself and other readers know how you go green.

It's good to be a cat...in my house.

2009-04-10T10:09:00.004-04:00

So...I have two cats. One being a pure bred male Siamese, and the other being a female tabby cat. I have always been a cat person. Dogs just never did it for me. I didn't care to be bothered having to walk and clean up after them. Cats are pretty much self sufficient. You can leave them alone for days at a time with enough food...water....and a clean litter box. After all, they sleep most of the day away anyway, so they're not likely to even notice you're gone.

I have friends that are dog people..they loathe cats. I don't argue with those kind of people...it's not worth it. While I am an avid feline fan....I would never force my opinion on others. I enjoy the mysteriousness that surrounds cats. The sleekness with which they carry themselves. The way they brush up against your leg and frolic in between your feet when they need a refill on food. Anyone owning a Siamese can tell you they're loud. I for one, have always been a fan of the breed. The slinky-ness about them always attracted me....of course, their crystal blue eyes were quite a pull for me as well.

I enjoy my sharply-clawed friends. Their "let's sleep the day away" attitude. I envy them really....I'd love to sleep the day away and have someone get your food and water for you....get pet daily and never come when called unless I feel like it. It's good to be a cat in my house.

Paranormal State

2009-03-25T15:45:00.002-04:00

Not sure if any of you readers are fans of the show Paranormal State which airs Monday nights at 10 p.m. on A&E, but I am a huge fan. I have been following the show from the start and was instantly hooked. Ryan Buell and his PRS Team of investigators are phenomenal. They take their cases seriously and one can tell when watching the show that all the PRS members genuinely care for their clients.

Ryan Buell is the director of his group and not only is he handsome and delightful to listen to (great voice), but he has some really sincere psychics aboard his team as well. Chip Coffey cracks me up every time....I can never get enough.

Way to go PRS...keep up the good work.

If you're not a fan of the show....watch an episode and check it out. If you are a fan....comment and tell me why and for how long.

Twilight Weekend! Twilight DVD Release Parties! Will YOU Be There?

2009-03-20T18:03:00.006-04:00

Okay so it has arrived. Twilight Weekend. The DVD is getting released at 12:01 Saturday morning and there are tons of release parties happening in every city in the US. Will YOU be at one? I will.

For two reasons. The first being that I am a huge Twilight fan and the second so that I have first hand knowledge of the chaos that I’m sure will ensue. The chaos part I will blog about tomorrow after I have caught up on my rest since I’m sure it’s going to be a long night between the screaming tweens and mom-fans like myself.

So…if you’re attending one of the parties…comment and let me know where. And if you’re not attending the parties….stay tuned for the update sometime on Saturday. Either way, Edward will appreciate the devotion I’m sure. :)

Buisness Cards: The Smell of Sweet Success

2009-03-18T17:24:00.003-04:00

Hello my readers. I received my business cards in the mail today and I have to say that I really feel like this freelance thing is taking off now that I actually am seeing my name in print.

It's a nice feeling to be able to promote yourself with something as small as a business card. Imagine where mine (and yours) will end up? Let's say we leave them on a bulletin board at the super market...someone picks one or two up and passes them on to a friend/family member/colleague. From there who knows where they will end up. Your possibilities are endless with something as small as a business card.

I plan on pinning mine up where ever possible. I think it's an inexpensive yet bold way to get your name out there.

I personally ordered mine from www.vistaprint.com because the prices were very reasonable. And I figured that for my first time making up cards that I didn't want to commit to buying 2000 and then remembering that I forgot to add something.

Comment and let me know how and what you do to promote yourself as a freelancer. I'm sure lots of you have your own cards/website/flyer's etc. Did you find a place offering low prices? Do you remain faithful ordering from one site for your promoting needs?

Monday Morning Going Green Blog

2009-03-16T11:17:00.005-04:00

Hello readers and friends. It's Monday. Over the weekend I decided that I would like to start becoming more "greener" in the products that I use to clean my house. Such things as toilet bowl cleaners, floor cleaners, and degreaser products are some things that I am considering changing. I have been toying around with the idea of going greener for some time and I figured why not give it a shot....it can't hurt right?

So over the weekend I purchased some "greener" toilet bowl cleaner and degreasers and took a few hours and cleaned the house with them. Here's my assessment of the aforementioned: So far so good. lol. Simple as that. The toilet cleaner cleaned as well as my usual Clorox with bleach toilet bowl cleaner and the degreaser got my oven surface sparkling so I'm happy.

I think that after I really get the hang of this green stuff that I'd like to even make homemade cleaners. I've been doing some research in that area as well and have come across lots of great sites and ideas in helping achieve a total green lifestyle.

Don't get me wrong, it will be hard for me to give up those great smelling laundry detergents that incorporate Febreze and Downy into their products, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

I Love Harry Potter Weekends

2009-03-08T12:59:00.002-04:00

I live on the East Coast….and ABC Family tends to have Harry Potter Weekends quite often….if you don’t know what this means….it means that from Friday through Sunday….all the Harry Potter movies are shown almost continuously.

Being a huge fan of the books as well as the movies, when the HPW (Harry Potter Weekends) are on I tend to clear my schedule….put my feet up….and watch as much as the movies as I can. I really can’t get enough Harry Potter. Its been a little while since I’ve reread the books again….I think I’ll get on that. And as for the movies, I love the way they saturate your mind with Hogwarts and the wizarding world. As I am watching the movies….I really do believe that somewhere out there there is a Hogwarts and a Diagon Alley.

I want to go to my Potions Class with Prof. Snape and learn the subtle art of potion making. I want to free Dobby and play quiditch all at the same time.

It’s such a fun series that I, for one, can’t get enough of. It never gets tiring to hear Hermione tell Ron he has dirt on his nose, or hear Dumbledore read the names for the TriWizard Tournament.

If you’re one of the few that has yet to indulge yourself within the series….I recommend you do so as soon as possible. You won’t be disappointed….Rowling is a fabulous writer. Within no time you, like the rest of us HP fans, will be patiently awaiting your Hogwarts letter.

Are You A Beginning Freelance Writer? If So, Read On.

2009-03-06T13:38:00.006-05:00

I'm thinking it would be a good idea to start helping beginning freelancers along in their journey. With that being said, please comment on this blog and tell your story. What websites have you found useful so far....where do you work best (home, coffee shop), have you found any good blogs that can help out the beginning freelancer?

I will keep updating my blog with my knowledge that I have gained since becoming a part time freelancer.

Let's help each other out shall we?

My Ideal Home Office Space

2009-03-02T17:45:00.006-05:00

I was thinking the other day about what my ideal office space would look like. If I could literally take a room and transform it into my office....with money as no object....what exactly would I have in it?

The basics...yes....like a super fast top of the line computer....office supplies galore...fax machine...coppier...the whole nine.

But what about things like windows? Personally I like lots of light....natural light. Therefore, I would have at least three big windows...with amazing purple paisley curtains sweeping ceiling to floor. Definitely vertical blinds rather than horizontal as I believe they let in more light. I would paint the walls a light mocha-red color as I love the warm, inviting feeling that it gives off.

My floors would be bare except for an elegant oriental rug with hints of violet woven throughout. And an oversized microfiber loveseat would adorn the corner for guests to make themselves home in. I would even invest in an ottoman so that my guests put quite literally put their feet up. On the side of the couch would be a glass end table so that glasses of iced tea could feel at home as well.

Art would consist of timeless masterpieces hanging the walls, I prefer to have two or three really big pieces rather than numerous small ones scattered on the wall. I would also incorporate the busts of some favorite authors of mine such as Shakespeare and Poe.

My desk would be black...and I really like the picture above with the round desk....if I could find it bigger....I would add it to my room. Also, BOOKCASES....and lots of them. I love built-ins but I'll take free standing. I have a very large collection of books that just keeps growing so the space would come in handy.

Last but not least....a real comfy chair. One that I wouldn't mind spending loads of time in.

This would be my ideal work space....what about yours?

Movie Review: PBS Masterpiece Theater: Oliver Twist

2009-02-16T14:01:00.012-05:00

Once again I found myself mesmerized not only by PBS and their Masterpiece Theater, but by the brilliant actors they have portray these iconic characters. This Sunday marked the ending of Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. Needless to say, it was awesome. Fantastic adaptation...fantastic actors. Watcher's would have seen such famous actors as Tom Hardy as Bill Sikes, Timothy Spall as Fagin (who also plays Peter Pettigrew in Harry Potter).

Overall I was really happy with the way Masterpiece decided to arrange the movie. I would gladly watch it again and most definitely would recommend it to anyone who's literary interests include Charles Dickens.

Valentines Day "We loved with a love that was more than love" Poe

2009-02-14T19:04:00.005-05:00

Ahhh......Valentines Day.

A day for lovers....for romanticism.....for kissing and loving.

Love intoxicates.....it binds.....it blinds.....and it free's.

A day to show feelings...and secrets....and admirerers.

Even though I have no significant other to share the day with....well...I always have my son....and he got those Necco candy hearts and was delighted......I say "Love On" dear loved ones. Rejoice in your day.

To quote Poe "love with a love that is more than love".

Movie Review: PBS's Wuthering Heights

2009-02-14T13:20:00.009-05:00

I’m not sure if any of you follow Masterpiece theater on PBS or not. To be honest, I never did until the night of January 18 2009. It was a Sunday night at precisly 9 p.m. Nothing of interest was on. As I was looking through the guide on my digital cable, and saw that Wuthering Heights was going to be on, I figured “why not”. After all, I hold a MA in English and have read Wuthering Heights many times throughout my college career.

Now, this is where two obsessions start. The first being that PBS Masterpiece Theater has become a staple on my television set at 9 p.m. sharp on Sunday nights to watch the newest rendition of a classic novel. The series itself is genius really and I don’t know why I never gave it the time before. Silly me.

The second obsession became that of the British actor Tom Hardy. Sigh. Not only was this man a positvely brilliant Heathcliff, but he’s gorgeous to boot. It’s only fair to mention that the actress who portrayed Cathy, Charlotte Riley, was phenomenal as a new comer. I’m on edge waiting to see what else I can see her in.

Tom Hardy was Heathcliff in every respect. I LOVED this adaptation of the book. He completly got the part right and nailed every scene effortlessly. I am now a huge fan of Tom and of Masterpiece Theater. I can’t get enough of either.

If you’re at all interested in the series, go to www.pbs.org and you can have a look around.

The Single Mother

2009-02-13T18:10:00.015-05:00

I have a beautful son who is two and a half. I am a single mother. His father is a big part of his life but we are not together. I am writing this blog about being a single mother because today was a hard day. And you will have those days, as every mother knows. Ever since my child was born, I knew it was going to be hard. Actually I knew the moment I found out that I was pregnant it was going to be hard. My entire life changed the day that I took the test and saw the two lines appear. I no longer thought only of myself and I knew that I was going to be completely responsible for another human being. Needless to say...it was overwhelming. But you get through your pregnancy and you get through your labor and you bring home your incredible child....and all nine months of waiting pay off when you gaze into your child's eyes. However, the doubts of motherhood and parenting....become abundantly real. No one prepares you for them. If this is your first child....EVERYTHING is new....and hard. And you find out exceptionally quick....that's its all even harder when you do it alone.

It is, however, exceptionally rewarding. Once you get past the infant stage and move on to the toddler age, you get to hear yourself called "mommy" and you get lots of hugs and kisses. So whatever hard times you think you'll never survive as a mother, the unconditional love you receive from your child makes it all the more enticing to keep doing your best. But because it is hard in every respect (physically, emotionally, etc) if you were to ask me at this time if I ever planned on having any more children...my answer will be no. One is enough in my book. While I always dreamed of having a daughter, having a son has been rewarding. There really is nothing like the bond between mother and son...or mother and child for that matter. No one will EVER be more important in your child's life than you. You are your child's first role model in every aspect of life. You are who they run to with bruised knees and broken hearts. Advice could never be given more lovingly and honest than when it comes from a parent. That's huge in my book. It makes me strive to better myself in all aspects. If I want my son to be strong in his life then I must be strong in mine. If I want my son to grow up to be a hard worker and go after what he wants, then I too must show him that anything is possible.

While being a single mother is dauntingly hard, there's no doubt about it. But my advice would be to keep at it mothers...never let anyone bring you down...and strive to be the best you can be because your children deserve a great role model.

Restaurant Review: Chili's

2009-02-12T19:50:00.009-05:00

Let me start by saying that my friend and I have eaten at this particular restaurant numerous times considering we live in the area, this way my readers will be in the know that this incident I’m writing about isn’t just a one time thing. Each time I have frequented it, I’ve noticed that when you are first seated the waitress comes around your table frequently. To take your order…get you drinks…and what have you. But after you receive your order it never fails, your waitress disappears. She becomes Houdini and is no where to be found. I’m not exaggerating either, your plates of food get put down in front of you, and then you and your dining partner(s) are on your own until your plate is empty…or you’ve been done eating and haven’t moved your jaw to chew anything in about fifteen minutes…whatever comes first. When you’re literally just about to the point of aggravation, here comes your waitress with the bill in hand. So if you did happen to want anything else, another drink or desert let’s say, you’re out of luck…you’re DONE. You get a half-smiled “thanks so much” as she puts the bill down and that’s literally the extent that you interact with your waitress while you visit Chili’s.

Now, I’m sure you wondering why I continue to eat there…yes? This is where the “review” part kicks in. To be honest…the food’s good. I happen to like the chicken taco’s and the new chicken finger platters they have so I see no harm in returning…as long as I can look past the Houdini -trained waitresses. Also I tend to get desert there because they have this insanely awesome chocolate molten cake. It’s this mouthwatering, rich, chocolate cake that has a “molten” center, if you will. So that when you insert your spoon (or fork…whatever you prefer to eat your desert with) into the center of the cake, hot liquid chocolate comes oozing out. They top it with vanilla ice cream and a chocolate hard shell coating….and it’s Heaven in my book. I’ve gone there JUST for this desert and I’m not ashamed to admit that.

In closing this blog, let me add that I am in no way saying that I will not frequent my local Chili’s again….that I will. I’m just pointing out that the food is great but the service isn’t as high ranked. I haven’t had an unpleasant waitress per say, just ones that come back to your table out of habit rather than want.